I have quite a few blogs aside from this one. Well, I have one less than I used to because, apparently, one of the sites shut down. Isn’t that great when a site shuts down and never tells you…?

In any case… In all the blogs I’ve ever made, there are certain random thoughts I’ll post in every single one. That seems a bit redundant, doesn’t it? I’m sure it does to some…

But to me, it’s a deliciously random thought that deserves the extra attention. It also happens to be one of my favorite subjects for random intellectual discussions. I know, it’s weird to have intellectual discussions of random thoughts… Sometimes I feel as if my thought process is like a game of Cards Against Humanity… Have you ever played that game? If you haven’t, you really should! It’s incredibly fun! Having a thought process that works the same way…? Not so much…

So… today’s random topic is the movie “The Time Machine”. *applause*

Not that shitty new one… I’m talking about the 1960s version with Rod Taylor, Yvette Mimieux, Alan Young and Sebastian Cabot. I’m not a fan of modern remakes of older movies. Yeah, I know the effects suck in old movies, but you have to give them credit for trying at least. They had little to work with.

If you’re unfamiliar with the story, you can follow the link above. I suggest reading the synopsis before you read further…

In a nutshell, main character George (Taylor) travels forward in time to the year 802,701. There he meets the two different inhabitants that survived the destruction of mankind, the above ground dwelling Eloi and the underground dwelling Morlocks. And I’ve decided something…

I’d rather be a Morlock…

I’m not saying I want to be a blue-skinned freak with saggy, baggy man tits…

I mean, just look at these guys! They look like they came from a few hundred years of Smurfs inbreeding! Or they were cross-breeding with moles or something. Damn, they go beyond ugly… And I’m not quite sure how they breed, considering the only ones you see in the movie are obviously male (no bare chested women in the 1960s). That brings up a lot of questions and mental pictures better left alone… And yet, I’d still prefer to be a Morlock.

That’s because the alternative is to be one of the Eloi…

On the surface, who wouldn’t rather be one of the Eloi? They’re blonde, blue-eyed, look like humans look… But being an Eloi comes with a plethora of issues. They have little regard for life (whether their own or that of others) not to mention that… they’re brainless idiots. They have clothes to wear, food to eat, dishes… And when asked where all these things came from, the reply is that those items “just are”. They have no clue where these things come from, nor do they care where they came from.

But being a heartless, brainless idiot isn’t the reason I wouldn’t want to be an Eloi…

The entrance to the Morlock’s domain is a weird sort of sphinx. Every so often, pipes rise up and sound off like the sirens warning of a nuclear air strike. The Eloi, having been conditioned like their ancestors to move underground when they heard the sirens, move as if in a daze towards the sphinx and enter it. Eventually, the doors slam shut and the Eloi still above ground wander away like nothing happened. The Eloi who went into the sphinx… well… they’re never seen again.

The Morlocks are cannibals, you see…

All the clothing, food and other necessities the Eloi are clueless as to where they come from are provided by the Morlocks. So, in essence, they’re breeding the Eloi like blonde, blue-eyed cattle.

And, like cattle, the Eloi are just as clueless as to what fate awaits them. They just laze around by the river all day, lying in the grass, soaking up the sunshine, totally oblivious to the fact that, any day now, they may be the main course at a Morlock feast. They actually don’t figure it out until they’re underground in the Morlock’s lair and see the bones of Eloi who had entered before them.

So when given a choice, I’d be a Morlock. When it comes to eat or be eaten, I’d choose to eat. And if it means being blue-skinned with saggy, baggy man tits, then so be it. It’s better than being one of the cattle.

Am I right…?

This also poses another question… I wonder if Eloi chops are low in cholesterol…