I haven’t had time to write for a few days… I’ve been busy trying to control chaos…

This weekend, I took a very long trip (an hour and a half) to go see a breeder about a puppy. The one I had my eye on, sadly, was sold, but he called that morning to say he had two left, a male and a female. I was relieved because I had wanted a male dog and the one he had left was the one I had originally looked at. So I took that long trip to bumble-fuck. I took one look at this face and fell hopelessly in love. How could you not?

Let me introduce you to Baxter! He’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, is 12 weeks old and a major handful! My house is barely controlled chaos at this point… I got him because my 9 year old Shiba Inu, Miko, has been so depressed over the loss of her friend, she’s been sleeping all the time and not eating. I hoped a new friend would help. At first she was excited until she realized that puppies have a lot more energy than she does. My female cat, Haiku, is scared of him and my male, Sebastian, smacks him around to put him in his place. And there are some bad habits to break… Baxter must have been allowed to go potty wherever he pleased. He’s going in the house (which is to be expected, he’s a baby) but he’s also going in his crate. Worse, he’s had the shits since I got him home. So today I need to try to get an appointment at the vet. Either that or I stick a cork up his ass…

Weird thing is… I’m a total germaphobe. As I said in a prior entry, I can’t even touch things in my own home if I consider them unclean. I won’t even pet my animals without washing my hands afterward. It’s insane and irrational. And having clean spaces is also insane and irrational. I’ve slowly been getting better. The cats are allowed to lay on the sofa with me now at least. But since bringing Baxter home, I’ve actually had to go outside in my backyard and not shower! Not sure that’s a good thing… There’s so much pollen that I’ve been sneezing my ass off since… I think I need new allergy pills. Be that as it may, having him here seems to help my anxiety for some reason. Whatever works…

So, random thought for today…

This morning’s The Twilight Zone episode was “The Man In The Bottle”, a modern twist on “The Monkey’s Paw” tale. A struggling couple encounter this charming genie in a bottle who grants their wishes. The problem is, all wishes have consequences and, if you don’t take those into account, you’ll be fucked. Such as this couple was… Wishing for a million dollars is awesome, but not so awesome if you forget to wish for it tax free (though they screwed up in the episode, the government doesn’t take 90-some percent).

But hey, Arthur is a smart guy… He considers consequences on his next wish. He wants to be ruler of a foreign country that can’t be voted out of office and it had to be within this century. Brilliant, right? He thinks so. Until he realizes the genie made him Adolph Hitler at the end of WWII and he’s in the bunker Hitler was hiding in when he and Eva Braun supposedly killed themselves. There are consequences no matter what. Valuable lesson learned…

So this got me thinking… If someone granted you wishes, what would you do? Would you say “Hell no!” or would you take them? And if you did take them, what would you wish for? Even if you take into account all the consequences, you’re still going to get fucked somehow… Like poor Arthur…

Let’s say you asked for a million dollars after taxes… How long will it last you? Especially if you’re poor and have been struggling. The temptation to spend like you’re a millionaire is too great. What about power, you know, where you’re not turned into Hitler? They say “absolute power corrupts, absolutely”. You see that everywhere every single day. So that’s not a great wish…

Or maybe you’d go for the rather cliche, Miss Universe contestant answer and say you wish for world peace… Hey, I’m not knocking the idea. I’m a peace-loving hippie myself. World peace would be awesome! Wars are stupid… There’s no winning, only degrees of losing.

But I’m realistic and thinking of consequences… Let’s say that’s your wish. There would no longer be any need for weapons of mass destruction, so they would be disposed of, right? Okay… but let’s say that the Ancient Aliens dudes are right. I mean, come on, in a universe that’s infinite, it’s a bit ignorant to think we’re the only intelligent life in it… And let’s say a more advanced civilization decides to come here and take over. And we can’t fight them because we achieved world peace and have no weapons. Have fun being slaves of an alien race…

It doesn’t matter what you wish for… In some way, shape or form, karma is going to dry fuck you up the ass with a cactus on it… That’s the whole moral of the story…

But… if you were given wishes and had considered all the consequences… what would you wish for?

I would wish that I could be normal and not bipolar, that I’d only experience anxiety under proper circumstances and to be in good health so I could live a long and fruitful life. So… what would you guys wish for…?