Have you ever gone somewhere and they make you wear those stupid sticker tags so everyone knows who you are…?

I like to have fun with those… Sometimes I’ll be normal and fill in my name. But it’s much more fun to fill in other things, things that describe you, like “emotionally exhausted”, “morally bankrupt”, or, my personal favorite to use, “anti-social butterfly”. You’d think that one would keep people from approaching you. Yeah, it doesn’t work…

I haven’t been feeling very well the last few days. Now, most of us know if something is wrong. And most of us, after feeling ill for a few days, will go see a doctor to find out what kind of bug we picked up and get medicine to feel better. But there are a few who would rather be extremely ill for months and never see a doctor until it gets way out of hand.

Yesterday I spoke to one such person, a “friend” of mine. She could tell I didn’t sound right and I said I hadn’t felt well for a few days and told her how I’d been feeling. She immediately jumped on me, telling me I needed to stop worrying about everything. When I told her I wasn’t worried, she smugly told me that she knew me and knew I was worried when I honestly wasn’t.

As it turned out, I went to the doctor and really am sick, so my “friend” can bite me.

But it did bring up the question in my head… How can you say you know me (in her case, it was that she knew me all too well) when half the fucking time I don’t even know who the fuck I am?!

But hey, I shouldn’t worry, right? Because, after all, I have people who know me all too well who are more than fucking happy to tell me exactly who I am! Ugh… I can’t even say that it’s frustrating or annoying to have people talk to me that way. It’s more like it pisses me off to the point of violent thoughts, like punching them in the face.

I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t know who I am at all… I do, for the most part. But there are parts of me that I don’t even know I have until they rear their (sometimes) ugly heads.

But if I don’t even fully know myself, how can anyone say that they do…? And that just doesn’t apply to those of us who don’t fully know themselves. Even if you’re fully aware of who you are, no one has the right to tell you that they know you all too well. They don’t… All they know is what you allow them to know, allow them to see. And I think I’ve reached the point where I’ll be snapping out next time…