Does anyone remember this weird old add and/or commercial…?

In the commercial, they show you an egg, telling you, “This is your brain…” They proceed to crack it open, plop it in a pan where it begins to fry as they tell you, “This is your brain on drugs.” This is followed by, “Any questions…?”

It was part of an old anti-drug campaign from the late 80s or early 90s. I don’t remember. I’ve slept since then… But it seems really relevant at the moment. Not that I’m frying my brain with drugs… I’m not, but I kind of wish I was. At the very least, it might make this time in isolated quarantine a helluva lot easier to deal with. I’ve been stuck in my house for about a month, now. I’ve taken to having conversations with the animals, including the ones in my Animal Crossing game. I’ve been bitching at commercials and TV shows. I’m getting a little concerned, here… I mean, what’s next? Am I going to start having full blown, meaningful conversations with my stuffed animals?! Now that would be something, wouldn’t it? Maybe I should grab a few, sit them all down in a circle and we can have a support group… “Hi, my name is Jackie, and I’m an isolation victim.” I’d be seriously worried about my sanity if they replied, “Hi, Jackie,” then expect me to tell my story.

It just may come to that…

Apparently, the governor of my state is going to start shutting more things down in an attempt to keep the virus from spreading, while the Great Pumpkin (our “fearless” leader) wants the government to take control and open shit back up. Admittedly, I can’t wait until we can all go outside without fear anymore, but I just can’t trust a man who uses words like “bigly”, who’s views on Puerto Rico are, “There’s an island… surrounded by… water… Big water… Ocean water…”, who’s views on Syria are, “They have a lot of sand” and called the president of Italy “Mozzarella” to make important decisions like this. Granted, I’d love nothing more than to go back to normal life, but he’s an idiot who just may kill us all without even batting an eye.

However, if I have to stay isolated for much longer, I think I’m going to be more like this picture here. For some reason, I found this hysterically funny, mainly the “side order of bacon” part. I think that’s my brain at the moment. I’m seriously losing it, here. My anxiety is off the charts and that’s something I just don’t need to have happen. And my depression is also bad. I really have no desire to do anything anymore. I suppose it was bound to happen…

Thank goodness Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out soon after the isolation started (I got the digital download). I thought I had my island pretty nice until I saw a few others in YouTube videos. Mind blown! So I decided to jazz my place up because, apparently, the villagers wanted more stands and outdoor decor. So far they’re pretty happy with what I’ve done (and am still working on). But I keep getting the same message that they’re all complaining about the “over abundance of trees”. There’s “fear of getting lost in the woods and missing their favorite television programs!” Mind you, none of them have a TV in their house… So I’ve begun to move trees into clumps, fence them in, leave just enough room for me to go shake them for money, fruit or whatever. I even made paths and sidewalks so they don’t get lost and I get the same shit! Seriously?! It’s a fucking deserted island when you first get there! The whole purpose is an island getaway! So now we’re expected to pretty much terraform this beautiful bit of nature and develop it like a city?! See, that’s what’s wrong with the world today… It’s bad enough that we do this in real life! Now they want us to do it in video games! Exactly what kind of message are you trying to send to tomorrow’s leaders, huh?!

As you can see, I’ve done a little work. I’ve actually made a few other areas, made a few existing ones nicer… But I doubt I’ll ever be more than a 4 star town because I flat out refuse to get rid of my trees. As it is, I’ve taken a small portion of the island and used it to isolate myself. I want to be surrounded my nature! I swear… You know, I realize every village needs an idiot. But my whole village is nothing but idiots…

Aside from yelling at my little animal villagers that they’re fucking idiots (“I built paths and sidewalks! I moved trees! How the fuck are you idiots still getting lost?!?), I’ve found another way to manage my stress and anxiety.

I saw this add on Facebook for a product called the Komuso Shift. It’s based on technology that Japanese monks have been using for centuries to help control their breathing during meditation to help them relax. Actually, you can use this method whenever you need to chill the fuck out. The one pictured here is the same one I bought, but they have other colors available and they also have them for men (they come with a ball chain).

So the purpose of this is to help you breathe correctly and it’s very discrete. It just looks like a normal necklace. But the inside is hollow. The thing is, you’re supposed to exhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. But it’s the exhale that people do too quickly. By blowing through this, you’re forced to exhale slowly and properly. I figured what the hell, I’ll try anything. And it looks neat. So I bought one. They’re not cheap ($85), but since I’ve gotten mine, I find that, when I get stressed and anxious, this really helps me to calm down and chill out. Worth every penny for those who want to try it.

Last week sucked so bad for me… Baxter and I celebrated our birthdays in isolation and I found out I was turned down for admittance to that trailer park I was hoping to get into. But Monday, I actually got a bit of a pleasant surprise!

Growing up, I lived sandwiched between my grandmother’s and great aunt’s houses (the latter had belonged to my great grandparents). My grandmother passed away about 3 weeks before I turned 16 and sold the house to this really sweet couple. That was 31 years ago (good grief) and we had totally cleaned the house out before they moved in.

Monday night, the husband called to let me know he found an old yearbook when they were cleaning out the attic and he thought it was my grandmother’s. When he told me the name, sure enough, it was hers! He was telling me some of the things that were in it and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it! Amazingly, it’s still in good shape for a book that’s 93 years old! The book was from when she graduated (she was bumped ahead a year) in 1927! The original commencement programs were still in the front (and, amazingly, the paper still white). I found papers with names and addresses, all from Los Angeles, some from famous places like Fox Studios! What the actual fuck?!? Why did she have this stuff written down on papers she hid in her yearbook?! I have no idea and I doubt there’s anyone alive that can tell me about it anymore. My mom has no idea and suggested I ask my uncle since he’s the oldest.

Anyway, when I was getting closer to my grandmother’s picture, I found this stack of drawings in between the pages. The picture is a little deceptive… The papers aren’t really that yellow. They’re done on manilla paper, so it’s an off white. And remember how that paper was always soft…? It still is! It’s like they were just recently drawn, yet they’re at least 93 years old! These are my favorites… Teddy Roosevelt cat is just too cute! And I love the scathing look on the other cat. Back in 1927, you didn’t wear bathing suits like that. And only bad women smoked. So what exactly was the message, here…?

These are the other 3 drawings I found. Aren’t they just wonderful…? I was so excited to see these! The question is… who drew them? I have no idea if my grandmother could draw or not. Her sister (my great aunt) I know was an artsy person as was my mother’s brother, my late uncle who died two months after I turned 3. He was incredibly talented, yet my mother can’t draw a stick figure. My sister can draw fairly well, but was never very interested in it. And me…? Well, I’ve been drawing ever since I was able to hold a drawing utensil. Still, the question remains… who drew these wonderful old drawings? Either way, I’m having them matted and framed to keep them safe and I’m finding a bag for the book to keep it protected from further damage as the binding is pulling away.

It was really an interesting look back in history, that’s for sure. I loved looking at all the pictures in the book, seeing how people looked, the styles… There were some pretty handsome guys and some beautiful girls that you’d swear you’d seen in some old movie somewhere. Most were just regular looking people. And them there was this one guy… I know it’s not nice to laugh or speak ill of the dead, but give this guy a white lab coat and some goggles and he’d have made the perfect mad scientist! Just his looks and that crazy hair… the white man’s overbite he had in the photo… He had me cracking up for some time!

Another treasure I found in her yearbook was a spray of flowers. I assume it was the corsage she wore when she graduated high school. That totally blew me away! Those flowers had been pressed in that book for 93 years! Plus they were hidden away in an attic for who knows how many years. And yet, when you look at them, you can still tell that they were pansies with some greenery sprigs. Honestly, I was dumbfounded by all this. I was so excited, I called my mother to tell her all about it and I sent pictures to her boyfriend’s phone. She was amazed as I was and just as puzzled as to who drew the pictures. Maybe it wasn’t my grandmother or great aunt at all. Maybe my grandmother had an artist friend. I really don’t know, but I’d like to see if I can find out who did them. They really are flat out amazing. And, as an artist, I really like seeing the style people were drawing in back in 1927, the content of what they drew… I’m so glad he called to give it to me! It’s a very precious gift! It’s also one I told my mother that there was no way in hell my sister was going to be getting. Thankfully, she agreed. Apparently, she still has a few of the old photos my great aunt had promised to me. I got most of them back, but the fact that my sister has any is unnerving. She’s always felt very privileged and has taken things meant for me or things rightfully mine. She was storing something my grandmother left to me, an old pump organ that came from her church. The day my sister told me she thew it out, I completely lost my shit. This book is one thing she’ll never get from me…

I know, I never share pictures… Well, not of myself, unless you count my hospital picture when I was born. But today, I’ll share a real picture with you all.

Again, don’t let the picture I look fool you. The pages were not yellow and the photo is black and white. But anyway… This was my grandmother’s senior picture from 1927 when she was only 17 (probably 16 when it was taken). Wasn’t she beautiful…? I know, most of you are probably thinking she’s heavy and what’s up with that hair. Well, that was the style of hair, then, and if you had naturally curly hair like she did, well… yeah, you didn’t have many options. And she was a bit heavy. But I think she was the most beautiful girl. Maybe I’m biased because she was my grandmother and, the years I knew her, she was such a sweet old woman… But I still think she was a beautiful girl with this infectious smile. I have this in my phone’s gallery so that, when I feel down, I can look at it and smile… Maybe one day I’ll give you guys an even bigger blast from the past and show you my favorite photo of my great grandmother. She was a very stunning woman! So I’ll leave you with that for today…