Admittedly, I was not pleasant in my last entry… I’m sorry for that…

It’s funny… Just the other day, while using the Woebot app (my sister, the nurse practitioner recommended it), which is kind of like therapy in an AI type of app, we were discussing the different types of reactions to situations. Usually, I’m aggressive or assertive. I’ve never been passive. Never… And if you try to use that aggressive shit on me, I go bat shit nuts. Which is what happened with that cousin. So I decided to use the psychobabble I learned years ago, “I understand you’re upset…” Acknowledge their feelings, then add the kind but, which was to explain I didn’t feel the same, preferred to stay neutral and maybe I wasn’t the person he should be spouting off to, considering. I received an infuriating return text, turning shit on me. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure my face looked like Sesshomaru’s face, here, when he’s turning into his demon form…

So, aside from binge watching anime to escape for a bit (that’s kind of obvious), I decided to do an entry on things that bring me comfort. Childish as some of them may be…

Stuffed animals are a huge comfort. I’ve never liked being touched and hugs make me uncomfortable, so I turn to my stuffed animals. In fact, I’m pretty sure that, over the years, I’ve spent thousands of dollars at Build-a-Bear alone. The thing is, I’ve always found comfort in them. They’re soft, squishy, cute… You can hug them as tight as you need to and they won’t complain. You can cry and tell your troubles to them and they don’t judge. They’re there for you no matter what. And they keep smiling. I mean, look at my avocado! How can you feel sad when he’s smiling at you like that? It’s a security thing I’ve never gotten past and probably never will. Just like a big, fluffy, soft blanket. It can be 100 degrees, but I’ll still wrap myself up in one like a burrito for comfort.

Then there’s the escapism…

Some of this comes in the form of writing short stories (for myself right now), watching anime and other cartoons, drawing… Anything that takes me from this world for a while.

The other form it comes in is the form of Animal Crossing (currently the New Horizons game). It’s cute, easy, requires little skill… I grew up with an Atari 2600. Even the original NES games were too hard for me. So I like the aspect of games requiring no skill, really. My Sims for the Wii was another. I got to build! I loved building shit since I was a kid and building houses and furniture is fun and relaxing for me. I can also build in the latest Animal Crossing (furniture, anyway). But the real fun aspect is that all your villagers are so kind to you and often give you presents (albeit awful ones most times) and you get to freak out Blathers every time you donate a bug to the museum. He’s even terrified of fireflies! What a dipshit!

I also find comfort in sitting in my tiny art area, which I haven’t been able to do for some time… It’s upstairs and right now my knees can’t tolerate the climb. I’m looking for a solution so that won’t be an issue anymore… But, sitting here, surrounded by my oddities and pictures of Japanese rock stars covering the ugly colored walls, playing some tunes and getting lost in my own little world as I work on whatever it is I happen to be working on is like heaven to me. It’s a zen thing for me. And there’s one particular poster (which you can’t see here) that always has to be right above my drafting table. That’s part of the zen… If I find myself frustrated or stuck, I just look up at it. Sometimes I write him little notes and put them on the poster. It’s silly, but it helps…

It’s no secret that I’m crazy over Japanese things, either. I literally go bat shit crazy over them! My obsession with kokeshi dolls began with one simple one, bottom row, fourth in from the right. It was bought for me (as well as a few other items) by someone who had a layover in Tokyo. It started the obsession. I buy them from eBay, my Japanese friend buys them for me when she takes trips home… Once, when her parents came to visit, I had her ask them if they could get me one and I’d pay them. They bought me the most beautiful doll, but refused to take my money. So I made a print of one of my pieces I’d drawn and gave that to them as a thank you. They were overjoyed!

I also love toys! Well… some of them are “collectible” figures who don’t move, like Condor Joe, here. But Obi-Wan is a toy!

Actually, I buy lots of toys… I don’t know why… I think Captain Kirk said it best in Star Trek (the original series) in the episode “Shore Leave”… “The more complex the mind, the more the need for the simplicity of play.”

Whoever wrote that line was a genius… It’s very true! In fact, when I was going to online college, one of our projects was to write down 3 things we enjoyed doing as kids and then had to do one. Well… I do have toys, but I decided on my Gatchaman collectibles to play with. I felt silly at first, making them say things, giving them dialogue, but soon I found I was having fun!

One of my favorite toys as a kid were the My Little Pony dolls. It was the only girly toy I liked… In fact, I had a huge collection and was bound and determined to get every single one that appeared in the first cartoon, “Rescue At Midnight Castle”. Amazingly dark for an early to mid 80s girls’ cartoon…

I had found all but 2… One I couldn’t find at any yard sale or flea market (this was way before the internet, guys) and the other I never knew the name of because I could never see the markings on her butt… In any case, I had to have had over 30. And when my mother cleaned out the attic, she threw them all out without asking me if I wanted them (along with my original Star Wars figures). I was pissed and became obsessed with finding them again. I had one left, that was all. I managed to find my favorite and the one elusive one I knew the name of. Now they’ve come out with the 35th anniversary edition! I bought 3 of the ones shown here so far. I need 3 more to complete the collection. I even found the one I never knew the name of! And I do play with them… I wash and condition their hair regularly and comb it. It’s soothing to me for some reason…

But no entry on what I find soothing would be complete without my wall o’ vinyl!

It’s… considerably bigger, now. I need more of these wooden crates built to showcase the rest. At this point, I have over 700 45RPM records and well over 1000 LPs (what’s shown here). Music has always been a comfort to me and always will be. And vinyl has such a warmer sound than any cassette, CD or mp3 ever could.

And yes… I have a turntable to playtime on…

I’m a huge music lover. I was brought up that way. My mother listened to all the 50s and 60s pop songs, even Big Band music (like Glenn Miller). My father, on the other hand, was a rock and roll kind of guy, so I got a taste of Led Zeppelin and The Grateful Dead, stuff like that. I can remember being 3 years old and watching KISS “Phantom of the Park” on TV! And my sister, 5 years my senior, was more an 80s pop (I think the only rock she liked was Def Leppard) and I was the Motley Crue, Quiet Riot type. But I liked her music as well. So if you’ve been wondering why in the hell I have so much vinyl and a diverse taste in music, now you know why.

Besides… the more types of music I have, the more comfort I have.

So, dear readers, what abut you? What things do you find comforting? Silly or embarrassing, I’d like to know. And no worries, no one will judge. Especially not me. I just admitted that, at my advanced age, I still seem to have the heart of a child. So please leave a comment, let me know what comforts you when you feel low or need a bit of security!