Please don’t take offense to the title… Actually, I said this to a friend who is legally deaf and she thought my frankness was comical. So please don’t be offended. Normally I don’t care if I offend people, but I know this is something to get offended about…

Anyway… wouldn’t it be wonderful if they actually made a product like this…? I’d by “Shut The Fuck Up Spray” by the skid if they did! Then I’d hook it up to my garden hose for a broader range and shut a lot of people the fuck up. Imagine the possibilities! Life would be so much sweeter and more enjoyable if certain people would literally just shut the fuck up! It would be glorious!

I’m already making a mental list of the people I would use this on… But it would have to be the type of spray that would not only shut them the fuck up verbally, but also make them shut the fuck up on Facebook, Twitter… just every-fucking-where so you’d never have to hear or see their bullshit , their hate spreading, their narrow-mindedness ever again. We need this spray… Or someone needs to start giving out free lobotomies…

I know, you’re all wishing you could use that spray on me right now…

All I really want is peace and quiet. I want to go on facebook again and see funny memes or stories on how your life is going, cool pictures… You know, how it used to be before the elections when Trump somehow managed to get into office, before the country began falling apart, before COVID-19 and George Floyd… Before a group of crazy people began rioting, before police brutality reached its zenith, before everyone went full on fucking nut case, posting either horrible things or which lives matter and the inequality of communities. Listen, I don’t care what the fuck color you are, your religious affiliation, your sexual orientation… I’m looking at this from a logical standpoint. If you call yourselves a “community”, you’re the ones segregating yourselves. We’re all of us just one race… the human race. Though at this point, some people don’t belong in that category…

Take Morticia, for instance…

It was getting late last night and I thought, “Holy shit, a night of peace and quiet!” Nope… I was wrong. She called soon after that. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I have my own financial woes, my own health issues. I don’t need to hear hers every one of the half dozen times she calls me in a day. With this ischemia, I haven’t been feeling well and stress seems to make it a lot worse. But she doesn’t care about that… She only cares that I’m the one with a heart condition and why is it me and not her. Munchausen’s!

Last night she had heard, second hand, that some older gentleman got kicked out of a chain pharmacy and told not to come back because he was wearing an American flag shirt. She went off on a tangent, “He’s a vet! He fought for our country, he has every right to wear that! I want to go down there wearing mine! Just try and kick me out!” Seriously… there are more important things to get so incensed about. Besides, I told her, as per the constitution, the American flag is not to be used commercially as in clothing, tablecloths, paper plates, napkins, etc. Yet we still do it. Technically, every time you use the flag as anything other than the flag, you’re in the wrong.

She grumbled a bit, but eventually shut the fuck up about it… for a little while. I eventually told her I didn’t really care about such things. It’s just a flag. She got more pissed and told me that flag stands for freedom! I literally fucking laughed at her. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of slipped out. Or maybe I did mean to, I don’t know… I’m sorry, but for a country that’s so free and has freedom of speech, why does Facebook have these flying monkey minions not allowing me to post certain shit? And now that I called them on it, it’s worse than ever! Sorry, I thought you guys understood that private account means just that. Private… Stay the fuck out of my business. I think the thing is, as long as your opinion is one agreed upon by the masses, it’s okay to post. Otherwise, they’re going to be all over you like flies on shit. Yeah… that’s really freedom. We don’t have freedom of anything and haven’t for a long time.

The stupid thing is, those who know what’s going on with me and that I want to avoid any stress and bullshit, that I want to keep things as relaxed and calm as possible don’t seem to get it… What’s so hard to understand here?! I can’t have my heart racing like a fucking jackrabbit’s right now! I’m trying to avoid all negativity or flat out stupidity and lunacy until I go get that test done to see what’s really going on in there. And my appointment isn’t until July 27th… That’s over a month from now. And I have to avoid this shit until then?! I’m not sure it’s possible… Not unless I tell Morticia she’s toxic to me and I need to not talk to het for a little while. But there’s not way to put that politely, is there…? “Hey, I need to avoid you for a while because you’re one of my biggest stressors and my heart can’t handle that right now.” That… sounds impolite…

So for now, I’ll just keep playing my game to escape… I finally got the one piece I’ve been wanting, the Japanese pagoda, here. I put my beautiful moon seat neat to it with the star fragments and star crystals around it, even added some candles… This is my new favorite place on my island and I feel very happy and at peace when I see it. So I’m making a few other changes to my island. It keeps me busy but calm. That’s all I can do right now…