Yes, I know I’ve used this drawing before, but, old as it is, it’s still one of my favorites. I was watching Xanadu, I believe, when I came up with the idea of what the muses would look like given a more modern day upgrade. This is what I came up with. Honestly, I still think it’s an amusing piece, even though I know damn well that I can draw much better and have improved a lot of my techniques over the years. But, then again, it wasn’t supposed to be the most gorgeous drawing. It was meant to be comical, which is why I drew them in this fashion.

I found this nice, brief description of the muses:

The nine muses in Greek mythology were goddesses of the arts and sciences, and were daughters of Zeus, the king of the gods, and Mnemosyne, the goddess of memory.

Thalia – Muse of comedy and idyllic poetry.  She is usually shown holding a comic mask, a shepherd’s crook, and a wreath of ivy. 
Melpomene [mel-po-men-ee] – Muse of tragedy.  She is  usually shown holding a tragic mask, the club of Hercules, and a wreath or vine leaves. 
Clio – Muse of history. 
Euterpe – Muse of lyric poetry. 
Terpsichore – Muse of music and dancing. 
Erato – Muse of erotic poetry. 
Calliope – Muse of epic poetry and rhetoric. 
Urania – Muse of astronomy. 
Polyhymnia or Polymnia – Muse of sacred hymns and harmony. I’m sorry if that was a bit boring… I’ve had a passing’s for Greek mythology since I was a very young girl, so these stories and myths are like old friends to me.

I feel like my own personal Muse right now is Melpomene, the Muse of tragedy…

Yeah, I wish I could say I was exaggerating on that. It just seems like, when something good happens, something always comes along to burst my bubble. Literally always… That’s why I’m a pessimist most of the time. Then, when bad things happen, I expected them to and I’m not surprised or disappointed. On the other hand, if things go well, it’s a pleasant surprise. Though I must admit, I’m sometimes skeptical… Good things happen so rarely that, when they do, I’m just sitting here waiting for that bomb to drop.

One got dropped the other day… I was so proud that I lost some weight that made it seem like I was getting somewhere finally. Yeah… I weighed in at that weight for about 2 days. I weighed myself yesterday and it said I gained 2 pounds back! What the actual fuck?! Is my scale defective, fucking with me?! Or did I really gain 2 pounds of blubber back?! I don’t get it… I do what that asshole nutritionalist says and I’m still not losing shit…

I also seem to have an anti-muse… That would be Morticia…

I know it’s her weekend off, but when I hadn’t heard from her and it was almost noon, I decided to work on one of my short stories. I had ideas just whizzing through my skull and I was so excited. I haven’t done anything creative in a long time. So I whip out my MacBook, get her fired up and pulled up the file. I typed maybe 2 words and my phone rang. I literally screamed, “Nooooooo!!” I knew it was her. Sure enough… She’ll sometimes call me a half dozen times a day and always to bitch about the same shit. Literally. I’m never in the mood for it, but yesterday I was really fed up. So I decided, since what she was blathering on about was nothing new, that I was going to watch a few of my Japanese music videos. I spent that entire conversation bopping around, lip synching and occasionally throwing in an “uh-huh”. She had no idea, but I didn’t hear one word she said. I had successfully tuned her out (thanks to L’Arc~en~Ciel).

So I’m in a good mood, which that band has that effect on me, and I managed to get off the phone with Morticia early, thinking I could start writing again. Nope… By then, whatever I had in my head was gone.

It’s that toxic effect she has on me… It’s as if she’s recorded herself on a loop reel or something… “Gomez and I had a fight (shocking), he’s such a dick, I’m tired of him treating me like shit. I hate my job. I can’t keep working 2 jobs, it’s too much. My hand is so bad, soon I won’t be able to take care of myself, I hate being crippled (this comes with crocodile tears). I’m so broke, I have no money, I don’t know how I’m going to pay for my car or my car insurance.” Literally, every single fucking time she calls! It’s enough to drive a person to drink… Maybe that’s why she drinks so much. But, you know, she’s not an alcoholic or anything. She drinks every day, but not to get drunk. She doesn’t need that drink, she wants it… I hate to tell her, but, she’s a fucking alcoholic! My family is riddled with them and, several years ago, I lost one of my cousins to alcohol. It’s sad… I remember when I was very little, maybe about 3 or 4. He was 17 and used to play his guitar for me. I loved listening to him. I don’t know what happened to change him.

Who is this character? I’d like to know because I’ve seen that look before… in the mirror…

Anyway… The point is, these are things that are easily solved or contradictory. You’re sick of Gomez treating you like shit? Dump his sorry ass! You hate your job? Go find a better one and quit! You can’t keep working 2 jobs? Make your shiftless kid and his girlfriend pay half the expenses and tell him to get a real job! Your hand is that fucked up? Go apply for disability and welfare like everyone else! See? These problems have simple solutions, she just doesn’t want to hear it. Though I did shut her up about being crippled… My alcoholic cousin’s wife was a hairdresser with rheumatoid arthritis. She’d get up in the morning, take a fist full of ibuprofen and wash it down with vodka to dull the pain so she could work. She died at 36 because of it. Morticia hasn’t said a work about being crippled since. Besides, I find it offensive. My knees are so bad, I can’t walk up stairs, can’t step up onto a sidewalk from the street, can’t sit on the toilet. I literally fall down because the pain is so bad and they give out. I sometimes use a cane. I don’t want to hear you’re “crippled”…

As for her not having money… Well, that’s her own fault. If you’re that broke, why is it you have money to run to the liquor store a few times a week? Why is it you have money to spend on local trips a few times a year? Better yet, how do you have money for a trip to fucking Mexico?! I guess she didn’t like what I had to say the other day because she changed the subject and began babbling about whether or not she needed a passport for her trip to Mexico in October… Where we live, you have to fly there or it would take forever. But… if you’re so short of funds and are wondering how you’re going to pay bills, how can you afford a trip to Mexico?! Priorities, woman! Priorities!!!

I know I shouldn’t let her bother me so much… That’s rather difficult to do when she calls so often whether I answer or not. It’s also difficult to do when someone just constantly dumps their baggage on you. Thanks, but I have enough of my own baggage that would fill an entire cargo hold of a 747. I don’t need that of other people.

She’s really affecting me in negative ways. I haven’t drawn much or written much at all, save for my profile picture, in probably about a year. I just can’t seem to find any Muse except Melpomene, the Muse of tragedy… I really need to tell her to piss off for a while, but even if I tell her I’m in a mood, I’ll call her when I’m feeling better, she still calls me. Yeah, I magically got better in an hour… So how do you nicely tell someone to fuck off for a while and tell someone who gives a flying fuck…? Thoughts? Please comment if you have any ideas, I’m desperate, here…