That’s a rather scary thought, isn’t it…? Personally, I’ve always found my mind to be an interesting place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Unfortunately, I do live there, every day, all the time. It doesn’t even stop when I sleep.

A dream, they say, only takes a few seconds, even if it feels like it took hours. I read up as to why it feels that way, something about how fast your brain processes shit when you dream… I don’t remember; I read it a long time ago. Anyway… All of us dream every night, multiple times, we just don’t remember them even occurring. Some people remember having one once in a while and other lucky buggers don’t remember ever having one at all, claiming they don’t dream (they do, they just don’t retain them). Then there’s me… I remember at least one every single night. I’ve been that way my whole life. It’s as if my brain is bored and decides that it needs to amuse itself or something.

But that’s not the worst of it…

Most of the dreams I have are twisted and weird or flat out nightmares. Rarely do I have a pleasant one (which rarely make sense anyway). They’re all very vivid, to the point that I can sometimes actually feel things going on, such as if someone puts a knife to my back, I feel the point. Annoying, wouldn’t you say? It really is… It’s why I don’t sleep well at night. At some point, I realize that something going on couldn’t possibly be real, which is when I wake up. Sometimes I scare myself awake (if I’m dreaming about spiders, usually). Either way, I eventually wake up for some reason. And, if it’s the middle of the night and I go back to sleep, I always get woken up by another vivid one. Worse, I remember so many of my dreams in great detail. Some of them I remember were had when I was only 6 years old! Imagine remembering a dream that freshly after… a lot of years… I’ve been told I have an amazing memory. I suppose I do, which is nice in some areas. But not when it comes to freaky ass dreams you’d like to forget.

And sometimes it’s things I see that now can’t be unseen, god help me…

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a song stuck in my head. Nothing unusual for me, but I often wonder why my brain chooses the songs it does. They’re very random. Yesterday it was Rick Springfield’s “Love Is Alright Tonight”… Okay, I admit it. I just adored Rick Springfield back in the 80s. I even had a poster of him on my wall that I used to stare at before I went to sleep (I was, what, 8 or 9?) I remember that poster so vividly… He had shorter hair than in this picture from the 70s (which deserves that cat-like trilling purr) and was wearing a pink suit, black shirt and pink tie in a concert shot. I was so nutty for him, I even had a folder (which I still have somewhere) with him on it. They used to make folders of album cover pictures that were shaped to look as if an LP was coming out of them. I had his “Success Hasn’t Spoiled Me Yet” album folder, which didn’t exactly mix with Mötley Crüe’s “Shout At The Devil” album and Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health” (both of which my mother thought I’d get in trouble for).

FYI, I never got in trouble for taking those 2 folders to school even thought the “Shout At The Devil” one had a pentagram on the back…

Anyway, I also had this poster from Dynamite magazine. Christ, I feel old… However, I felt even worse yesterday afternoon…

I was on YouTube, bored and looking for something to watch. I found a video of 70s heartthrobs, then and now. Leif Garrett (I never liked him) was the shot they used for the video and he looked so bad I just had to watch. Most of these guys were late 60s/early 70s (like Davey Jones from The Monkees) while others like Rick Springfield were late 70s/early 80s. I honestly didn’t know he was in this list until he came up… My dumb ass thought, “Ooh! Rick Springfield!” and nearly had a fan-girly nose bleed when I saw the picture of him with long hair that they used. I was enjoying all the old photos and video clips! Or I was until I saw what he looks like now… They showed close-ups of his face, which is when I literally said, “GAAAAHHH!” and put my hand in front of the screen. He looks so bad! It made me feel old and disgusting… And now I can’t unsee it…

Music is obviously a big part of my life…

Coincidentally, 2 days ago, I had gone to the grocery store here in town. It’s a small store and they usually play some good music over the speakers that I walk around singing while I shop. I get a lot of strange looks… I got even more strange looks the other day when I was shopping. They were playing 80s music! So there I was, singing along as I shopped. Near the end of my shopping trip, I added to my singing. They played “Freeze Frame” by the J. Geils Band. I always loved that song! So I’m pushing a cart through the store, doing this walking/dancing kind of thing. People were definitely giving me odd stares… However, the cashier took this a bit more in stride. She seemed to be amused by my ditty-bopping and commented that I was really jamming out. I was! I grew up listening to that stuff as a kid! It definitely took me way back…

I’ve also been listening to this particular album a lot lately…

This came out when I was in my latter years of high school. When I first heard the song “Up All Night”, I was hooked. Even now, all these years later, this song really picks me up in a way not many songs do. I feel… young… Literally, I listen to this song and I have so much energy running through me. I even play air drums to this song (I wanted to be a drummer in a band back then with a few of my friends). They say you’re only as old as you feel… Well, the last few days, I’ve felt anything but my age. I felt like I was 16 or 17 again! It’s pretty awesome to feel that way at my age. But then I see what these groups look like now and I feel old again…

Ah, well… Such is life…

This was a rather boring entry for you, my dear readers, wasn’t it? Just me spilling out the random thoughts in my mind…

Sadly, that’s how it is in my mind. It’s both light and dark, scary and wonderful, random and ponderous. Sometimes I need a vacation from all that. The only good thing about my brain is that I’m rarely bored. My brain will always give me something, whether it’s a song running through my head, playing a scene from a movie in my mind or making up wild, fantastical stories, all for my personal enjoyment. Sometimes my brain is my best friend and my worst enemy…