I was doing some online shopping for a new dinnerware set this morning…

Wait, let me back up first for a moment. There was a mess greeting me in the kitchen this morning, one of my stoneware bowls shattered on the floor. I’ve been using these bowls for the cats because I had to keep their water up on the counter. If Sebastian doesn’t drink a lot, his urinary tract can block up again. And if I leave a dish on the floor, the dogs drink it, so… That’s why it was on the counter. And, early this morning, it was shattered on the floor. I have no idea which of the 4 was the culprit…

After the mess was cleaned up, I immediately hopped online to look for new dinnerware sets. Yay! I’ve been more than ready for a change anyway. This just justifies me spending the money on it, haha! So I start shopping, hoping to find something dazzling that just screams, “This is me!” You know what I found, mostly? Plain white, plain white with a black or gray pattern, sometimes with a tiny splash of red… Some dark brown or puke, but all fairly monochromatic.

I find this new trend… disturbing…

My sister, so I’m told, has also jumped on the monochromatic band-wagon (I have yet to see her new house and it’s been over 2 years because I still feel some animosity). My mother tells me the outside of the house is gray, the inside is gray… The front door is black… I see this in renovation shows on TV, in furniture, dinnerware, everywhere…

What the fuck happened to color?!

Seriously, I want to know! When did everyone decide that color was bad and begin acting as if it was the work of the devil?! It’s like everyone suddenly turned Puritan! Or North Korean… They have a very monochromatic society… But seriously, when the hell did people become so fucking opposed to colors?! I realize that monochromatic colors and cool colors are supposed to be soothing… Honestly? I find they make me more depressed and I feel so unsettled… Yet cool colors, so they say, are better for people with depression and anxiety. Mmm, nope… I like warm colors. They’re more comforting and cheerful, don’t you think…?

See…? Color can be our friend! And it can be fun!

I’m really digging this retro style furniture (or maybe it really is retro) and the fact that whoever did this wasn’t afraid to play with color and mix some odd combos together. Somehow, they got this to all tie together perfectly to make a beautiful, colorful room!

I myself have a colorful home! However, after 14 years, it’s time to repaint… When I moved here, I didn’t have a lot of time to paint the drab white walls (or a lot of help), so I said the hell with it and painted the living room/dining room and kitchen the same color. Pumpkin something or another… I did it solely because I just wanted to get color in here and time was short. Closing was 3 days before the end of the month when I informed the slumlord I was renting from that I was moving. So yeah… not enough time to dick around with multiple paint colors and move all my shit.

I have, since then, repainted the kitchen twice (the first color I chose was nothing like what I ordered and looked like calamine lotion on my walls) and I have painted 2 accent walls in my living room. I was going to paint the other walls in the living room as well as the dining room but, after painting the 2 accent walls, I realized something. Always read reviews before you buy!!!

I discovered, when I had finished the two walls, that something smelled like cat piss… So I’m looking all over to find the spot where the cat peed to no avail. It took me some time to realize… it was the paint… So I went to check reviews on that particular brand to find someone else had a similar complaint and stated his home smelled like cat pee for 3 days! No lie, my house reeked like cat piss for 3 days… Now I have 2 gallons of the other color I was going to use sitting in the basement, untouched. What a bother… Now I need to buy new paint. My point is, though, that everything in my house consists of warm, earthy colors.

And color schemes don’t need to be outlandishly bold, either. They can be warm, neutral colors with pops of vivid colors from furniture, plants, paintings… whatever!

But it still leaves me wondering… Who in the blue fuck started this trend of monochromatic interiors and got everyone to fall in love with them?! Seriously, I want to know because I want to kick them in the dick…

My apologies to all you monochromatic lovers, but… No… Just no… This world is full of bright, cheerful colors everywhere! They’re in the sunrises and sunsets, in the sky, the grass, flowers… Beautiful colors all around! Why would you want to surround yourself with dull, monochromatic shades? Do people think this looks sophisticated? Do they think they’ll look high class if their homes are devoid of color?! I just don’t understand…

I remember seeing an interesting episode of The Joy Of Painting with Bob Ross (a.k.a., the way I taught myself to paint). He received a letter from a fan who said they really wanted to paint beautiful landscapes like he did, but they were completely color blind. Everything looked like various shades of gray. And Bob, being the mellow, sweet hippie kind of dude he was, decided that he was going to do a monochromatic landscape to show that you could still make beautiful landscapes using only various shades of gray, black, white, dark brown and a very dark blue that was almost black. The painting was literally amazing! And, even though it was monochromatic, you could almost see that there was color where there was no color. It was truly phenomenal! I believe the episode is on YouTube and Netflix for anyone who may wish to check it out. So, done correctly, absence of color can be just as beautiful if done correctly. But throwing some gray paint on your walls, buying gray furniture, laying down an area rug of varying shades of monochromatic colors… Yeah, that’s just not cutting the mustard. Color that fucking shit up! Stop making your homes look like real life black and white movies!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love old black and white movies, but I wouldn’t want to live in one. It would be like that movie… Pleasantville? Is that what it was called? The one where the two siblings get sucked into an old black and white TV show?

Maybe it’s just me… Maybe it’s because I’m an artist or because I suffer from depression and anxiety. But, whatever the reason, I hate that people are choosing to make everything monochromatic. It’s dull, lifeless, depressing… Disturbing and unsettling… Our lives should be colorful! And that includes making the spaces we occupy colorful as well! So please, think before you paint, people… Dull, drab, monochromatic colors are not a sign of sophistication! It’s a sign that you would rather follow trends than follow your heart and do what makes you happy. Unless you’re happy being dull… then so be it… End rant.