Before we begin, I found these goth drawings on Facebook. They’re not mine and I don’t know who did them…

I wish I could say my weekend was good, but nothing seems to be good where I live. In fact, the entire world is going to shit… And all because of a virus.

This is why I shouldn’t go on Facebook… You know, I’m sick of seeing all this COVID-19 shit. Just when you think your state has everything down to a science, they change the rules (here they change them more often than most change their underwear). Then you have all the people who are conspiracy theorists who are sure this is the government’s way of controlling people. But that’s not so far fetched, really. Think about it… In 4 months, the US government has managed to control where we go, what we do, how we do it. They’ve successfully isolated us from the human race. Here, where I live, bars and liquor stores are closed to discourage gatherings. Hell, we still can’t find toilet paper half the time…

Every day, we’re told how many people have died from this virus. But the truth of the matter is, there are some cases where people didn’t die from it. In one case, the person died from a heart attack and the family flipped shit when they learned that COVID-19 was going to be listed as cause of death on their death certificate. Why do hospitals do that? Because they get more money from the government for having people who died of COVID-19 in their hospitals. How many people died from some other condition and the hospitals fudged the records to get a fuck ton of money?! Which begs the question… Can we really trust those numbers? For that matter, can we trust anything the news reports?! FOX admitted to making shit up already. And, if there are any reputable news stations and papers, what are their sources? Why the government, of course! We can trust them, right? Because they’ve never hidden shit from the masses for over half a century… So when they tell you that China intentionally released the virus here, can you believe them? Or are they just spawning hate and indulging in fear mongering…?

As I sit here writing this, watching The Twilight Zone, I’m realizing that Rod Serling was ahead of his time… It’s as if he knew history would repeat itself in the future. And here we are…

I find it interesting that, for decades, the US strove to put an end to communism, to keep it out of the country. What the fuck do you think is going on right now?! The beginning of communism. The government is dictating how we’re supposed to live our lives. That’s pretty much communism…

We’ve had worse outbreaks of viruses over the years. H1N1, various strains of flu… The entire world never shut down before. So why is it now? Those flus killed more than COVID-19 and that’s if you believe the numbers are accurate. But, all of a sudden, people were freaking the fuck out and now this is our world, our lives… And this is no life… Be honest, how many of you have enjoyed the so-called “lives” you’re leading right now? Probably not a whole hell of a lot of you, that’s for sure…

Why did I just go off on a tangent that, more than likely, will piss people off…? Depression and anxiety, my old friends…

I’m doing my part… I stay home (something I normally do, but it’s different when someone is telling you that you have to do it) and, when I go out, I wear a mask, I follow the 6 feet social distancing. I even flip on people not wearing a mask or wearing it properly. If that’s what I need to do to get it to go away, so be it…

The reason I’m rocking the boat and making waves is because of those of us suffering from depression and anxiety. I don’t know about the rest of you, but these restrictions are making my conditions worse. I find myself more depressed and anxious these days. I don’t adjust to change well and, when I go out, I literally break down and cry. This isn’t the world I know anymore and I don’t like what it’s become. I fear that nothing will ever be normal again and normalcy is important to me. Hell, even people who don’t suffer from depression and anxiety seem to feel hopeless that normal will return someday.

Then there’s the down-right insanity…

Granted, I’m a hockey fan. I loathe football… In all honesty, I’m not sure why I care for any sport. These are guys who get paid an obscene amount of money to play a sport, stub their toe in the first game and, whiny bitches they are, will stay out the rest of the season for it and get paid that obscene amount of money. You know who you are, T.O….

Anyway… I read over the weekend that the NFL is giving players the choice to either play this season or sit it out due to COVID-19. Mind you, a lot of them have already had the virus… In any case, if they decide to sit the season out because of the virus, they’re going to get paid $150,000 for the year… to sit on their asses and do nothing. Think about that for a minute. Most of us don’t make anything near that in a year, no matter how hard we work, right? These guys are getting that to sit on their ass. I think they make too much to begin with. Now they’re making that much to do nothing?! It’s fucking sick…

The flip side to this is that the government is hemming and hawing about giving people another stimulus check of a measly $2000. So those working and at risk of contracting the virus aren’t worth $2000?! What about people who lost their jobs, the people who are still waiting to get their unemployment. I know someone who was laid off, filed right away and, 3 months later, still has yet to receive anything while others laid off at the same time have gotten theirs. My mother’s boyfriend waited 3 months after he was laid off to get his first check as well. Small businesses are suffering while superstores like Walmart are thriving. Does anyone see what’s wrong with this picture?! The government doesn’t give a fuck about you unless you’re rich or chase a bunch of guys with a ball around a field! It’s fucking pathetic…

Of course, I’m wondering if I’m going to get a visit from the CIA from this blog… You know how they hate people who make waves and rock the boat. You know what? Tough fucking shit. Come knock on my door, assholes. I’ll be waiting for ya…

I’ve never been one to sit idly by and not speak what’s on my mind. I like making waves, rocking the boat. It sometimes seems that’s what I live for sometimes… And those times when I kept my mouth shut, I regretted it, mainly because I pussied out to spare others from an uncomfortable situation. I hate myself for doing it, even at the time. Yet I’ll still put people I care about above my desire to “stir the pot”, so to speak… Besides, as I get older, I find that putting so much stress on myself by making waves with people, not caring how it effects others, is sometimes not worth the damage I’m causing myself with all this stress.

With my stress echo a week from today, I’ve been trying to avoid stress and all the news of the world right now. Call it escapism, call it ignorant to ignore these things, but I’m finding that it’s the only chance I have to save my sanity. I already have way more stress and anxiety from being mentally ill; I don’t need more. So I’ve been spamming people on Facebook with my Animal Crossing shit. Most people ignore it. Whatever… It makes me happy. And it’s nice to see cute, non-stressful shit, don’t you think…?