So this morning I sit down, all ready to rock and roll on the story I’ve been revamping. It’s 5:30AM, an ungodly time to be awake, I know, but the hood is really quiet at that hour of the morning and will be for hours to come. I’m pumped… My creativity is going crazy and I literally need to pour this out onto my laptop. I typed all of one sentence (I’m not even sure it was a full one) and then I hear it… My cell is ringing. I didn’t need to look; I knew who it was. I looked up at my ceiling, asking the powers of the universe, “WHY?! JUST WHY?!” at the top of my lungs. I’m sure the neighbors didn’t appreciate that, but I couldn’t help myself. I really just couldn’t help myself…

For those who have been following my blog (or actually reading the entries) I’m sure you know… it was Morticia that called me. Yep, she’s going back to calling me several times a day again, most days, anyway. Granted, I’m always up and have had at least one cup of coffee by 5:30 (if I didn’t, my phone would go sailing if it rang), but that doesn’t mean I want to be bothered. Early mornings are my time, and I don’t appreciate anyone encroaching on my time. Not even my mother… Honestly, I don’t know why I answered. I shouldn’t have… Same shit, different day. “I don’t feel good because _____ (insert imaginary symptoms here)”, “I was really pissed off at Gomez last night and we had it out” (though she never sticks to her guns), “I have no money, Jackie, what am I going to do”, “I hate my job”, “Everyone is against me”… Gee, I have no idea why you’d feel that way… She’s even wondered why some of her “friends” stopped taking her calls. Gee, I wonder why. Stop bitching maybe?

She also made mention to the fact that she had to make sure she votes today…

I think she wanted to elaborate on that, but I kept sidetracking her so she wouldn’t. She and I don’t share the same views on who should be president… and she knows this. Yet, every fucking time she gets on the subject, she tries to sell me on someone I think is a complete and utter douche for a multitude of reasons. It’s like trying to convince me there’s a God… Morticia is one of those people who thinks she knows me better than I know myself. Really… If she did, she’d know I’ve been an atheist since I was 7 years old and, after this many decades, if I haven’t changed my mind I probably never will. And when it comes to politics… Well, I have my own ideas on that. Personally, I think we’re screwed either way this time. Not that it matters. Congress runs the show. The president is merely a figure head anyway.

And so, as is usual when I get interrupted during the creative process, I lost my groove for a while…

The exact same thing happened early Saturday morning when an ex, who I’m still friends with, messaged me around 5AM, “Hey stranger” (as we hadn’t spoken in a while). I messaged back a simple, “Hi” and was then asked what I was doing up so early. I told him I was always up early and I was writing because it was nice and quite in the hood. I didn’t think I was that subtle, but apparently I was. He began blowing up my phone with messages. “I just found out my ex is dating again… It really hurts… I’m lonely… If you know anyone who is single…” UGH! First of all, his ex was a crazy psycho that he should be grateful he dodged a bullet on. Second… why the hell does everyone vent to me?! I’m not a shrink or a therapist! I’ve seen a lot, but I’m not one! And they never like what I have to say because I’m brutally honest. So here’s the thing, shut the fuck up and go see a real therapist or I’m going to start charging you, okay…?

And that annoying conversation Saturday was my downfall… For, what, 15-20 minutes worth of annoying messaging? My creative flow just flew right out the window and I couldn’t get it back. I was so angry…

Yes, I realize that I can just put my phone on silent, but then I wouldn’t know if an emergency came up or some other important call I had to answer. Besides, it will still vibrate or, at the least, I see the screen light up. Worse, it’s an iPhone, so not only does it ring on my phone, it also rings on my iPad and MacBook! The only thing it doesn’t ring on is my iPod, thank god… Somehow I got it to stop disturbing me with notifications when I was listening to it and working on something. Now I just need to figure out how to successfully do that with all my other Apple products and I’ll be golden. I hope… I’m just irritated that I keep getting disturbed while writing this revamp of an older story. It’s quite an involved tale and I need to concentrate to get everything just so. But what do they care about the creative process… Philistines…

I seriously need to find some peace and serenity… I thought I had my grasp on it for a while, but then Morticia began calling on a regular basis to bitch again and I lost it.

You’re probably wondering what’s up with the sailboat… Well, for some reason, the ocean and sailboats seem to give me the peace and serenity I’m looking for. Honestly, I wish I could go for a sail or somewhere to watch them gently drifting along, but it’s November and, where I am, it’s starting to get cold. Not that the cold bothers me because it doesn’t. It just means there won’t be anyone out on the water in their boats for me to watch. It’s one of my dreams to have my own one day, but it’s just that… a dream.

Maybe someone should invent an app that gives you a realistic view of sailboats cutting through the ocean waves with the sounds of the surf an seagulls… Yeah… I’d download the shit out of something like that. I really need that bit of serenity at my fingertips.