You know, I made this illustration some years ago because I wanted to try dark skin tones and extremely curly hair. Looking at it now, I should have made her hair bigger. A huge afro on a woman was in style then…

Anyway… Did I have a point to that? Not really. It’s just an observation. I only chose this because it best represented “funk” to me.

But I’m not here to discuss the “should haves” of an old drawing that I could do a much better job on now than I could back then. However, I am here, apparently, to make horrible puns of old 2 Live Crew songs. Is that who did that song…? I think it was… That particular song contained the lyric, “Get the fuck out ma house… bitch”. So I just interchanged fuck and funk. See what I did there…? Yeah, it’s one of those kinds of days…

Ah, one of my favorite old original characters, Obitsu the Necromancer. Creepy, isn’t he…?

Anyway…

I sometimes wonder why I bother talking or posting status updates on Facebook. I mean, it’s obvious no one reads them anyway. Case in point, this morning… You guessed it, my 5:30AM text from Morticia saying, “Good morning”. Yeah, it really wasn’t good considering she sent me that… I purposely went on Facebook yesterday to inform everyone that I would not be on today, I wouldn’t be taking phone calls or responding to texts because, whether you candidate won or lost, I simply didn’t want to hear any gloating or bitching. And, considering the fact that the newest Commander in Idiocy has not yet been crowned, I really don’t want to talk to anyone. I grow tired of conversations like that, especially when I have to have them with idiots like her. Nope… not at 5:30AM, not anytime. Find a fucking hobby. Leave me the fuck alone for once…

Besides… I had work to do…

As I’ve mentioned, I’m revamping a story I originally wrote over two decades ago (that sounds better than saying 20 years). I realized the other day that I have a long way to go in finishing this story and I had better start wrapping things up in order to reach a crucial part of the plot. There’s a character that needs to be killed off and I have to do it relatively soon. Not that I want to, mind you. In fact, the first time I killed the poor guy off, I cried like a baby. I assume this is why I’ve been in such a depressive funk and a bad mood lately. Things sometimes get way too personal when I write. So it’s not just that my other main character is losing him; it’s as if I’m losing him as well. And I don’t want to do that…

This gentleman here, the late, great Dennis Wilson, was the inspiration for one of my lead characters. Unfortunately, the one I have to kill off…

Even as a little girl, I had the major hots for Dennis (though he was old enough to be my father). That’s why I decided to fashion my character’s looks off of him. I mean… LOOK AT HIM!!!

I need to stop that… Anyway… It’s not as though I’ve never killed off characters before, even ones I really liked and felt a strong attachment to. But killing off this character, knowing that I’m closing in on the inevitable, has put me in such a depressive state. Perhaps it’s because, out of all my characters, he’s the one I feel closest to, the one I’m most attached to. Or maybe it’s because the real person I modeled him after sadly died at a relatively young age. I remember that day with no fondness… Or maybe it’s simply because I’m killing off a character who I made out to be the sweetest man and I’m going to kill him off in a horrible fashion. Who knows… It’s just a downer, that’s all.

Maybe it’s not just the story… Maybe I’ve been feeling like this for other reasons. I’m just feeling lethargic, depressed and, worst of all, antisocial…

Honestly, I think a lot of it has to do with this election bullshit. Always just a bunch of bullshit… One makes ads telling you what they plan to do for the people, the other telling lies about the first guy to make himself look good but never actually telling you what the actual fuck he intends to do for the people. Yet there are still those who buy into the shit the second guy is slinging, right? And this time around, you just couldn’t escape it! It was all over television, Facebook, Twitter… Hell, you couldn’t even escape to watch stupid cat videos on YouTube because guess what? They were on there, too… Just why?! Christ, give us at least some fucking escape from al the hate and ugliness! Some of us need to have that!

This is my current state of thinking… We’re all fucking doomed…

I just don’t understand the world today… I really don’t. You know what the fuck is wrong with it, so fucking fix it! Why do you always try to fix things that aren’t broken and causing a commotion?! Why can’t everyone get their heads out of their asses, get down off the pedestal you put yourself on and act like the civilized human being you’re supposed to be?!? GAH!!! Do I seem a bit fanatical today…? Perhaps… But I’ve been around a pretty long time, okay? I’ve watched the world go down this steep, steady decline for decades. I just can’t do it anymore. All I want is to live what’s left of my life in peace. Is that too much to fucking ask for?!

Calm down, Jackie… find your happy place…

I don’t like going off on tangents, I really don’t. My main reason for this blog was to be random, not a crazy hippie bitch. But here we are…

I really hope that, when all this election bullshit is over, my mood will improve at least a little. Hey, I don’t expect miracles. We’re still in the grips of COVID after all. And if we have to keep wearing these annoying fucking masks, I swear, I’m going to take a hostage. I want my world back. No… it’s not just that… I need my world back! Maybe, if we can go back to normal, my depression and anxiety will begin to fade off again. One can only hope…