Yesterday started out as shit. Literally…

I thought I had broken a tooth and had to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and looked at. One of my least favorite activities. I had myself so worked up into a state that I gave myself some intestinal distress. I don’t know why, but getting my teeth cleaned is anxiety inducing.

But wait… there’s more!

Not only did I have a shit ton of cavities, 3 of which were drilled and filled on the top front (which was pretty painful after the fact from having my lip yanked over my head for so long) but I also found out I didn’t break a tooth. I lost a crown. Luckily I found it where I knew I lost it (in the car while eating a scone). And I found out what this weird pain was that I was having low in my gum in front bottom. I have periodontal disease and a hole in my gum! Isn’t that lovely?! Thankfully it’s still early enough that they can treat it in the dentist’s office, but still… What the actual fuck… Lucky me…

To cheer myself up, I decided to go shopping at this place called At Home. It’s a really nice home store where you can buy furniture, decor… pretty much whatever you need for your home and it’s not terribly expensive.

I found this amazing chair on their site a few days ago and had been obsessing over it for some time. Literally obsessing… I’m tired of how my house looks and decided that I wanted a bit of a change, something to spice shit up a bit. What could be better than a funky retro chair with a new pillow on it?

I realize this doesn’t actually look like it would be comfy, but it really is, surprisingly. Plus it’s a lot smaller than other chairs I’ve had in that space, so I have more room to move and feel less confined. My house isn’t very large and it has a lot of furniture, especially large furniture like my 6 foot sofa. So trying to get smaller accent pieces was definitely a plus in my mind. And it’s funky!

Actually, I found this ottoman first and decided I had to have it. The chair I happened to stumble across and thought, hey, that would look great with the ottoman! It really does! Plus it gives extra seating without taking up much space at all.

See, this is what I do… When I get depressed, I shop… Sometimes I shop until I drop. It’s such a downside of bipolar behavior (depression in particular). You’re so desperate to feel good that you go buy things you don’t need or can’t afford. A lot of the time, it’s something impractical and it only gives you joy for a short while before depression sets in again. Thankfully, this wasn’t an impractical purchase and wanting to change shit up is a good thing.

And, because I’m a sucker for the “impulse buys” section, I bought myself a cute little treat. It’s a mini Magic 8 Ball!

Did anyone have the big ones as kids? I did… I used to love that thing. Over the years, the colored water faded and I’ve since lost track of what happened to it exactly. But I always loved asking it random questions and seeing what answer I got. So when I saw this mini version (and it’s all funky and swirled), I knew I had to get it! It was only a couple of dollars anyway…

So I decided to test it… I asked it if I would learn how to play the guitar well, to which it responded, “Outlook good”. Hey, that sounds promising!

This morning, after all the bullshit that went on yesterday, I decided to ask it a different question… I asked it, “Does this country have good things in store for it this year?” And, as you can see, the response was, “Not likely”… Wow… How apropos…

So there you have it, dear readers… The Magic 8 Ball has spoken. All hail the great and powerful Magic 8 Ball…

Yeah, yeah… I realize it’s just a toy and any response to that question could have come up. But with the giant shit storm that’s been going on since March, the new strains of COVID, this presidential bullshit, you have to admit that the answer it gave me this morning was… well, a bit weird… I’m not saying it can really foretell the future, but… It was just too coincidental, don’t you think? It’s quite comical in a way. Even a toy has little hope for the future of the US! That’s when you know things are in sad shape.

So… much as I hate to do it, let’s talk about the bullshit yesterday…

Listen, I don’t care if you think Trump is the greatest thing since sliced bread or if you hate his guts to the point where you want to punch him in the dick a thousand times. Not everyone has the same views on things and that’s okay. They’re your views and you’re entitled to them.

But the events here in the US yesterday were pure and utter insanity.

Okay, he lost and he’s not happy. But for the love of god, bow out gracefully. Telling your followers, knowing that a lot of them are more than a bit radical, to go to the Capitol was literally an act of lunacy. He had to have known that it would turn into one giant shit show, which it did… And none of it would have happened if he would have taken his defeat like a man and not behaved like a child who didn’t like how you were playing and decided to take his ball and go home.

It’s no secret that I don’t care for the man in multiple aspects, but putting my feelings aside and looking at it from a more unbiased aspect, I can’t help but notice that he’s created a very dangerous situation. And I don’t just mean what happened at the Capitol; I mean with the people in general.

We’re a nation divided…

Yes, there have always been people who think they can tell you what to think, how to feel and totally invalidate your beliefs. But things seem to have taken a much darker turn for the worse lately.

Just put this in your kettle and let it simmer a minute… The last time someone stood up, spouting hate and laying blame for what was wrong with the country on a particular group of people, it didn’t go well and a lot of people died. Only this time it’s not Jews… This time it’s Mexicans and anyone who isn’t a Republican and thinks like him. It’s a dark period of history trying to repeat itself.

It’s all too fucking much…

COVID, political bullshit, people acting out and doing so like lunatics, hate between people, people trying to bully and dominate others in a vain attempt to get them to see their opinions are right and yours are wrong…

Stop… Just stop…

It’s bad enough that normal people have to deal with this shit. It’s even worse when people who suffer from depression and anxiety have to deal with it. Worse, people who have never experienced depression or anxiety before are now having major issues with it. I can’t imagine how freaked out and lost they feel. Those of us who have been suffering from mental illness for our entire lives, we’re used to dealing with it and even we’re having more issues than normal. I can’t imagine how sane people are feeling as they try to cope. This isn’t going to end well… I know I’m at a breaking point.

This morning is a good example of bullshit…

I had posted a picture of my funky new chair and ottoman on Facebook because I really liked it and wanted to show off the new look I’m working on in my house. A few people commented, each giving their approval, telling me how nice it looked.

But there’s always that one person…

I had a comment stating that Christmas was over and to take down my tree… Um, excuse me?! Who the fuck do you think you are, exactly?! It’s my fucking tree! And if I choose to leave it up until this coming Christmas, I’m going to fucking do it! Don’t tell me when I should take my tree down!

There’s no right or wrong time to take down your tree… You take it down when you’re sick of the sight of it, that’s all…

I also had a very irritating conversation with Morticia yesterday…

According to her, I shouldn’t judge people without knowing all the facts. First of all, I normally do, okay? But, in certain circumstances, the situation hits close to home and is a bit too personal for me. If I hear what happened from a reliable source and it’s something that upsets me on a personal level, I may be a bit judgmental, sure. We all can be. But I found it irritating that she herself is highly judgmental, especially with me, and that’s perfectly alright. Well… isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black…

I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed at this point…

At what point do you just completely lose your shit and flip out on people and/or remove them from your life? How much can any one of us take of this shit before we completely lose it?

Hell, those of us who are mentally ill are already more than halfway there to begin with.

So here’s the deal… No one, and I mean no one has the right to tell you what to do, how to think, how to feel or tell you that their opinion is right and yours is wrong. No one has the right to get up on a soap box to preach to you and then not practice what they preach. You are you and no one else… You live your life how you want, have the feelings, opinions and beliefs you feel comfortable with. The only person who has the power to change your views is you. And you probably will because we all do over the years. Just make sure that you’re not being influenced by some self righteous asshole who thinks they know everything. Okay…?

Ugh… This post was such a downer. I need to end this on a light note for you guys.

A late Christmas present arrived for me the other day. It’s an Inkari alpaca! Isn’t he awesome?! He’s made with real alpaca wool and is so soft and fluffy (as you can see). And they come with cute little accessories! Mine has a bow tie and shades!

Now, you’re supposed to name your new alpaca, but I’m having a tough time figuring out a good one. With his accessories, he looks as if he’s either a member of “The Rat Pack” (look that up if you don’t know what that is) or some sort of alpaca mafia! I posted the pictures to Facebook and asked some opinions on names. I got a lot of good suggestions! Perhaps too many… I still have no idea what to name my fluffy friend, here. So… I’d like to know… What do you think, dear readers? Any ideas for a name for my poor, nameless alpaca? And before you suggest Al, I actually have a stuffed one named Al Paca… Well, either way I managed to end this on a cute and fluffy note. That’s what matters…