Is that Train song stuck in your head now…? Or maybe you don’t know “Merry Christmas Everybody“? Go listen and watch the video. I’ll wait…

Now that you’re back and that song will be in your head until next Christmas (you’re welcome, muahahaa), we can begin.

I’m sorry to say, I will be spamming you with fun Animal Crossing scenes or screenshots I took… Well, not all my pictures will be of that, but some. Just my luck, I caught some intestinal bug and have been sick for the past week. Aside from laying on the sofa, curled up in pain and watching Christmas movies and, you know, getting sick, what else was there to do? I played my video game and made a lot of cute Christmas pictures that I then texted to my mother and drove her bat shit insane with…

I know, most of you think this is just a childish game, right? Actually no, you’d be surprised that most of the people who play this are adults. There’s even a YouTube video of an 88 year old grandmother who plays! And I’ve found that children don’t seem very interested to be honest. It’s slow paced and relaxing.

It’s also more than just a game. People have figured out how to go bat shit crazy with their creativity. I saw a YouTube video where someone toured an island that was made up to look like Whoville. And since the dream address was given, I had to go see it for myself. I took about 40 screenshots! I’m not kidding, this place was so creative and amazing, I was blown away! It was literally Whoville created in Animal Crossing!

Pay no attention to the mess behind the tree… This was right after I put it up and I was just shoving things wherever I could to make room for the behemoth. It’s one of those Balsam Hill ones and they’re a lot bigger in girth than they look in pictures.

Surprisingly, I just wasn’t feeling it this year.. That’s happened on occasion. Some years I’m so maniacal about it and I go a little crazy to the point that, when you walk into my house, it’s like walking into one of those Christmas Village places. You know the places I mean… There isn’t a square inch that isn’t covered with something that just screams Christmas. I actually was excited at first, but by the time I started decorating, I simply didn’t feel like making it such a grand thing anymore. I’ve had a few years like that… There were years where you were lucky I put up a tree. It goes way beyond holiday blues and into this bottomless pit of depression. The weird thing is that I have no idea what causes it. I’m usually fine until the time comes to do the actual decorating. That’s when it all of a sudden runs me over like a freight train. I wouldn’t say that’s what happened this year because it really wasn’t. Actually, I was feeling pretty good otherwise. I got my shopping done early, put a lot of thought into people’s gifts, actually had money to afford good gifts this year… I don’t know.

Sadly, I didn’t have room for all my nutcrackers this year… I must have over two dozen and with all the other decor I’ve been acquiring, there was just no room, so I only put out the ones that are key to the ballet. And, unfortunately, some really weird and some downright ugly decorations.

I believe it was last year when my mother decided to clean out her basement and brought me up boxes and boxes of decorations that used to belong to my grandmother, claiming she no longer had room for them and thought I might like them. Look at those angels… It’s not that she didn’t have room; she probably thought they were creepy. I haven’t seen these since I was little, which was the same with everything in those boxes with the exception of the ceramic letters that spell “noel”. She always put those out… To be honest, I don’t mind these angels (they have an interesting look) or the stacked snowmen candle holder. What I hate are the ugly ass angels that are sitting in front of my television. Christ on a mountain, are they ugly! But I put them out… She may not appreciate who owned them, but I do.

And, if you’re like me and you own cats, you know that you’re going to have live decorations every year at Christmas…

Sebastian was actually the first one under the tree. He didn’t even wait until it was in place and had a tree skirt before he was under it. Haiku at least had the decency to wait until it was shoved back in its spot and had a tree skirt… Even now, when there are presents under the tree and there is absolutely no room for her ample, pear shaped ass, she still manages to find a way to crawl over presents and jam herself under the tree. You can tell by that smug look on her face that she’s flat out telling you she plans to be an asshole… Cats are jerks, I don’t care what the fuck Jackson Galaxy says. They’re not always bored. Some cats are just fucking jerks. I’ve lived with them 44 years; I should know.

It’s actually been a really rough month… I’ve had some financial issues that required a lot of back and forth calls and me flipping shit on people… How hard is it to do your job and make sure people get paid?! Do you think people live on nothing?! You think I’m going to get by on my good looks?! Yeah, that and a token might get me on the bus… I’m dating myself by using that expression, but it fits the situation… On top of that, I had Morticia calling me constantly, bawling about how much she hates her job. One day she called to ask me if I had an extra room because she was going to lose everything she had and started bawling. Her paycheck was just sent to the wrong place and was already sent back out! Is she really that self absorbed?! She knew my situation. She knew I had no idea when the fuck my money was coming in and it had already been almost a month. How dare she cry to me?! And all the shit with “Mommy Dearest”… So I bought myself something pretty and cheerful to brighten my place up a little bit. Aren’t they nice?

I also got another interesting type of cheer… While at the mall, I saw this stand with all sorts of candles. The man running it makes them himself and he has all designs and scents. He had pies, jams, sodas, mixed drinks, all of which smelled like the real deal (the piña colada one really made me miss drinking) and looked amazing! But it was the Merlot I smelled first. I wanted to get a few more things for my sister and she and her boyfriend are wine drinkers, so I thought what better candle for her than one that looks and smells like a real glass of Merlot? No lie, it smells like the real thing. He only had two left, so I decided to snag them both. I’m a candle fanatic myself and this was one I couldn’t pass up. It smells fantastic and it looks so beautiful when it burns. It cost me $15 per candle, but for the scent and the fact that they burn for 80 hours? I can’t complain… Besides, my sister is so hard to buy for. She alone makes an obscene amount of money. If she wants it, she just buys it herself. So I need to get creative. One year I got her a journal who’s cover looked like Han Solo frozen in carbonite (she’s a big Star Wars fan also). Practical and fun! Last year one of the things I got her was a Simon LeBon Pop! figure (he was her favorite in Duran Duran). This year one item is a coffee mug with Darth Vader that says “Merry Sithmas”… You see where I’m going with this, right? I get her a bunch of little unusual things…

Speaking of my sister… I actually managed to get her and her boyfriend to come here for a bit on Christmas Eve! They can’t stay long because her one dog fell very ill the day after Thanksgiving and she needs constant care, but I’m happy they’re coming. Now, whether I feel up to it or not, I need to clean house and I only have a few days. GAH! Wish for that Christmas miracle because I’m going to need it!

And so, dear readers, I’ll leave you with a Christmas card of sorts, from me to all of you… Just some of the silly scenes I cooked up in my game, but I thought they were cute. My mother told me I could use them for Christmas cards which, had I made them earlier, I probably would have… So I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday, enjoy yourselves, love one another and I’ll see you on the flip side. Peace and love this holiday season! – Jackie Blue