I Need To Get Serious A Moment…

So… I have a very difficult situation I have to face today. I have to attend a viewing and say goodbye to a family member who died last week from COVID…

You know, we see it in the news, all over the internet, everywhere we turn. There it is, COVID, in some form or another, staring us in the face. We’re constantly being told how many new cases there are, how high the death toll is now from whatever new variant they’ve found… And, if you’re like me, you roll your eyes and let out a groan and say, “Jesus fucking Christ, is this shit ever going to end?!” because you’re so sick and fucking tired of hearing about it on a non-stop basis, you’re tired of the mask wearing, the hand sanitizing, the constant state of fear the media is putting us in by reporting all these new variants, cases and deaths. All you want is normalcy, to be able to go back to how it was before COVID when we all had lives and could live them. No having to wear masks, no having to keep six feet apart (though I do admit, I like the social distancing since I don’t like people that close to me if I don’t know them or even if I do sometimes), no being afraid to go visit family and friends, give them a hug, go on a first date and give them a kiss… We all want that world.

I’m sure you’re wondering about the horse pictures… The cousin, Penny (her real name) was an avid rider. She had been riding probably since she was old enough to figure out how. She loved horses so much and actually had her own. She even belonged to groups that would go take rides in various nature areas. Hence the reason for all the horse pictures. They’re to honor her.

Aside from being an equestrian, Penny was just about one fo the sweetest people you ever wanted to meet. Whereas a lot of the family wasn’t exactly kind to me, Penny was always sweet to me. She was genuinely just a good person, which is something that’s so rare in today’s world. Hell, every time she ran into me, she would tell me to come over to her house and we’d go riding. I had only had the chance to do so once when I was 7 and I was pretty terrified (I’ve always been afraid of heights and he was a tall but gentle pony named Shane). She assured me she could teach me well.

Unfortunately, Penny and her boyfriend didn’t get vaccinated against COVID… I mean yeah, I was leery about getting it. The whole thing just reeked of some bizarre government thing. And who knows what the fuck kind of weird cancer or other illness it’ll give you down the road? But I certainly didn’t want COVID, so I got vaccinated. I wish they had… Her boyfriend went into the hospital first and managed to survive (but he’s still rather ill). Penny, however, went downhill fast due to COVID and double pneumonia. Her oxygen stats dropped to 60% and she was put in a medically induced coma on 100% oxygen. Later that day she was improving, so they bumped the oxygen down. She kept yo-yoing after that… Improving, getting worse, improving, getting worse… She went into cardiac arrest three times, had to have a temporary pacemaker… In the end, her lungs, which had once been black on the X-rays with a bit of white (they should be all black as they’re air cavities) were completely white. She could no longer expel carbon dioxide at all. Had she made it, she’d have been a vegetable and no one wanted that…

So mid last week, Penny took her last breath…

Now, you all know I’m an atheist… But if there is an afterlife, I like to think that Penny is up there riding all the horses she can find (and maybe a few unicorns, if they were ever a real thing or even if they weren’t). And when I hear loud rumbles of thunder from now on, I’ll just think it’s Penny riding at a full gallop across the heavens…

So Friday, even though I had been putting it off, I went out and got my booster shot. I spent the weekend in misery. I was tired, a bit nauseous, and my arm hurt like a fuck which it didn’t hurt that bad the first two times. It was so bad it went into my armpit and was moving into my pectoral muscle! The injection site got hot… I actually texted my sister (the nurse practitioner) and she said that was normal. She’s gotten swollen lymph nodes in her armpits from one of the shots, too. It was certainly uncomfortable and painful, but I did it for Penny’s sake.

My face tonight when I see certain “family”…

And now the real shit show begins…

Tonight is the service (graveside is private) and all the family will be there. It’s difficult enough to deal with 90% of them because they’re just assholes, but there’s one in particular I’m concerned about. Penny was the oldest of three and it’s the middle sister I’m concerned about. When she learned Penny was in the hospital with COVID, her response was, “I need this like I need a hole in the head.” She was yelling at doctors, blaming the youngest sister and their father for not including her in decisions (which they did and didn’t have to as they had power of attorney), tried bullying the doctors into using non FDA approved drugs, accused the family of wasting her time and money when she was making the trip home anyway for a different reason… When Penny passed, she wrote a Facebook post blaming her father, saying the reason for all this was because he left their mother (over 30 years ago, grow up, get over it) and told him he brought this plague upon their family and she hoped he was happy he killed his own daughter. She was harassing him so badly, the youngest had to block her number from their father’s phone. She was also harassing the youngest, calling her a bitch and just being a lunatic in general. Yeah, that’s how to behave right now…

Mind you, this lunatic had been bad mouthing Penny to me for years, but as soon as she got sick, she used her to play the pity card. I was pissed enough then to call her on her bullshit, but I didn’t. I’m not sure I can keep quiet seeing her tonight, I really don’t. Who the hell does these kinds of things?! For fuck’s sake! Makes me want to go buy her a box of white chalk and tell her, “Well, you play the victim so often, I figured you should have your own box of outline chalk…” She and I had it out several years ago because I was sick of her manipulation and bullying tactics. I know it’s not the time or place, but for how she’s hurt everyone with her pettiness… I don’t know. Is there enough Klonopin in the world to deal with this?! Plus I’ve been dealing with a lot of my own emotional issues since August when my mother had her heart attack. I’m just not sure I’m stable enough to deal with this right now, bury a cousin a year younger than me… deal with the shit show that one decided to start at the worst and most inappropriate time imaginable. I don’t know what to do…

You know, you hear so much about COVID all over the fucking place, but you brush it off and don’t give it much thought until it happens to someone you’re close to… So I’m asking you, dear readers, even if you don’t trust the vaccine, please, go get vaccinated. Normally I wouldn’t have shared something like this or use a real name, but I’m hoping that those of you who are on the fence about it learned from what I’ve told you and what I’ve told you about how horrible her death was. It wasn’t pretty… She suffered unspeakably. So please, if you haven’t been vaccinated or you’re putting off that booster because you were really sick from the second dose, go get your booster. Do it for Penny and those who suffered as she did. You don’t want it to end that way…

I’ll miss you, Penny… I hope there is an afterlife and it’s filled with all the horses you can ride through the most beautiful landscapes imaginable. I hope you’re doing what you love best with the people you love who have gone before you. The world just won’t be the same without you in it to make us all smile…

Oh For Fuck’s Sake… Just Breathe, Jackie…

So… things have been a bit rough emotionally and mentally lately. I’ve been going to therapy, which does help, but it sometimes brings up some irritating subjects and feelings. I’d also somehow strayed from the very thing that made me feel better, my hippie dippy doings, which was bad. So I got my head out my ass and went back to what helped before. I even did some very mild yoga poses one day (my knees say “oh hell no” to about 90% of them I’m sorry to say) and I realized that my back and the side of my ribs felt so much better. Even that weird sacroiliac joint felt better! So I think I’m going to be doing those mild poses as part of my daily routine.

But hey, this is me we’re talking about here! Just when I start feeling better for whatever reason, whether it’s getting in touch with my hippie dippy side or working shit out in therapy or taking medication to fix whatever the fuck is wrong with my brain, there’s always something (or someone) that comes along to piss on my fucking parade… Pretty soon I’m going to start telling people to literally stay the fuck away from me because I’m going to have my fucking parade, damn it, and they’re not going to piss all over it! I’m so sick and fucking tired of being the person everyone comes to when they need to bitch or cry it out, especially when they don’t learn the first time. GAH!!!

My villagers keep getting weirder and weirder…

So I’m sorry to say, dear readers… I’ll be spamming you with Animal Crossing screenshots. I just need the cuteness and the smiling faces right now.

I’m beginning to worry about my villagers, to be honest… I mean, the dialogue is all programed, so they tell us, anyway. I thought it a bit odd last year when I went to speak to Zell when he was seated and his response was to close his eyes and say, “Om…” He then opened his eyes and apologized, telling me he was getting in some power meditation. Then this conversation happened with Mint a few days ago where she’s telling me about her chakras… What the actual fuck?!? I mean, I know I named my island Zen Isle and I know I wanted it to be a little retro 70s and a little zen mixed together. I know I give them weird catch phrases to say (“namaste” being one, “jazzy” being another). But it’s like they’re starting to understand the concept. Freaky, isn’t it…?

If you don’t get the toga party, watch “Animal House”…

I actually had to call Nintendo the other day because my game froze… The woman I spoke to and I got into an interesting conversation about how many adults she gets calls from that play this game. Honestly, it is mostly adults… We have the patience for a slower paced game and find it relaxing. And, if you’re creative like me, you can do amazing things like make forced perspective landscapes with dollhouses which, when put on the far side of a lake you build, look like far away houses. And you also get weird ideas when you get a DIY recipe to make a vine crown and think, “Hmm, I have a toga in my inventory and this crown would look perfect… I need to make a toga party scene with my villagers!” And then you actually do it… I belong to a Facebook group and when I was going on Facebook, I would upload these cute scenes and everyone loved them. It’s a creative outlet and a much needed escape for me.

I see bad things for someone in their future…

So as to why I need to just breathe… Well, I was wrong when I thought that my issues with Morticia were over… You know, I love her, I really do. We’ve been friends for probably about a quarter of a century now. I want to help her; I really do. I want to help her make positive changes in her life. Like her house… It was her mother’s (she passed a year ago) and living there as it is, she still sees it as her mother’s house because it looks the same minus a few tiny changes. So I told her since she got back the expensive gift she had given Gomez (that he never deserved) she should return it, take that money and buy paint and I’d help her make that house her own. Baby steps… When her furnace went out over the weekend (and it was cold!) she was going to call Gomez. I told her no, she had to stop relying on him and I called my friend to see if her husband would look at that and the electrical issue that blew out half her house. I had hoped it would have proved my point; she doesn’t need to rely on Gomez for shit. Yet she’s been bringing his name up more often lately… And yesterday when I went to visit her and take her a gift I bought her at the hippie dippy store to help her, I had mentioned getting the money back from his gift and she told me she gave it back to him and said she told me she was going to. She had mentioned she wanted to and I told her I would kick her ass if she did. He didn’t deserve it. When I scolded her, she said she’s not like that…She bought it for him, so she gave it back to him. I’m sorry… WHAT?!?

If only my real house looked so awesome…

So again it comes down to this… She thinks I’m cold hearted because I would have taken his gift back and returned it for the money. It was $300!! And that night, Christmas night, after he gave her gifts even your grandma would frown upon that cost maybe $30 total, he told her he didn’t love her or care about her. And then she gives the son-of-a-bitch the gift back?!?

I was so pissed yesterday (especially when she then said she was going to ask Gomez and his loser brother to help her paint the outside of the house) that I said he was going to give her the $300 she spent on that fucking gift, to which she told me, “No, just let it go. It’s not worth it.” Oh…?!? It’s not worth it! Morticia thinks it’s not worth it! Well then I guess it must be true, right?! Hahahaaa! Yeah… I don’t think so… I think it’s very worth it at this point…

Hahahaa, it’s “That 70s Island”… Get it?

So me confronting Gomez and telling him what a piece of human shit he is, that he’s not a real man and needs to pay her or give her the gift back (which he never should have accepted the second time) and never darken her door again is purely therapeutic for me. It’s worth it to me for every time I had to listen to her bitch, for every tear she shed that I had to bear witness to because he treated her like shit and she was so unhappy. It’s worth it for all the times I told her to leave his sorry ass and she never did because he had her so snowed that she thought the Gomez he was when they met was still in there somewhere even though I told her that Gomez never existed and it was a ruse to get her hooked. For all the stress and mental anguish she’s caused me by dumping her problems with him in my lap over all these years, it’ll be worth telling him I want to go up his nose, reach down and pull those little raisins he calls balls out through his nostrils. Will that make me feel better? Yes… yes it will…

My squirrely “boyfriend” Marshal and my buddy Kabuki

Don’t worry; I’m not a psycho… The worst that’s going to happen to Gomez is that I’m going to say horrible things that will make him cry (I’m good at that) and maybe he’ll get punched in the dick if he really pisses me off…

Maybe it seems silly to be so angry, but those two ass clowns have caused me more mental anguish than you realize. There were times when I got off the phone with Morticia that I just sat here and cried because my own life was falling apart and I just didn’t need that 6th call of the day to tell me what an asshole Gomez was and how much he treated her like shit. And this was every fucking day for years! That’s enough to take a toll on anyone’s mental state. I started cringing when my phone rang, would nearly burst into tears when I saw it was Morticia. I eventually had to stop answering. It still took her a long time to get the hint and stop calling so much.

Me and Audie doing the island resort thing

Honestly, for how much she’s talking about Gomez and making comments about how much he’d have to do to get her to take him back, I have a feeling I know where this whole thing is going… And I just can’t do this…

This causes an even larger issue… Despite the ups and downs we’ve had over the years and the fact that she can be really self absorbed and seems to feel that she needs to be right all the time, she’s still my friend of many years. But if she and Gomez get back together, it’s going to have to come to me giving her an ultimatum… that being that I don’t want to even hear his name mentioned, let alone any bitching or crying about his treatment of her because she’ll have brought this on herself. And if she can’t abide by that, then we can’t be friends because I simply can’t handle this shit anymore. Which I’m sure she’ll ask me to what shit I’m referring and I’ll blow like Krakatoa… I’ve already told her there’s a pattern in her relationships, all of which have been destructive, and she needs to break that cycle. I offered to help her, to help her gain some self confidence (like realizing she can do things on her own without Gomez’s help). So if it comes to that… how do you tell your friend that they’re draining all your energy, that they’re toxic and you don’t want to speak to them as long as they’re in a relationship with an asshat? It sounds shallow…

I’m not sure what to do… I know that you shouldn’t keep toxic people in your life no matter who they are because it hurts you, brings you down and they’re like energy chupacabras… But, by that same token, how can you turn your back on someone who needs help? Then again, if they wanted or even needed your help that badly, you’d think that they would have taken it, right?

Honestly, I wish I would have waited to give Morticia the present I got her at the hippie dippy store when I was last there… I got her a candle for “Inner Peace” and it had a charm tied to it (much like my “Venus Rising” one here) that I told her to make sure she wore all the time. The thing is, those candles aren’t cheap… Actually, they’re pretty expensive and most people would think I was insane for spending so much when I could have just gone out and bought a candle at the Dollar Tree for a buck. But they’re not the same, now, are they…? No, they are not… Scoff if you wish, but it really does help. And at this point I wish I’d have bought myself an “Inner Peace” candle because after all that’s been going on with Morticia the last few days, I sure in the fuck need all the help I can get to achieve some inner peace. I was so close to having some! But yeah, that’s all gone now… It’s been replaced by bang your head against the wall, face palm so hard your hand comes out the back side of your head stress. Some was my own, but Morticia dumped on most of it. I just can’t have this anymore; I really can’t have this… I don’t know what to do.

I went out shopping at this store called At Home and found these My Little Pony figures that are really little… I have a fetish; it’s the only girly toy I ever loved as a kid, so I bought all they had. Cute, huh? Even if they did screw up… Firefly, the pink one with blue hair was not a series one, she was series two and also a Pegasus. The rest are all series one as claimed. Why I know this or why I think you, dear readers, need to know this, I have no fucking idea… All I know is I shop when I feel bad…

I just don’t know anymore… I can’t afford to keep shopping every time that I get stressed or anxious or just feel down in the dumps and need to lift myself out of a funk. It only brings a temporary feeling of happiness anyway and I know that. But sometimes even those few moments of happiness are so precious because of the shit show going on around me that I would break the bank to have them. And now with all the shit going on with Morticia, I have a feeling that going broke may be a real possibility. Or at least it is until I find a solution. So if you have any advice, dear readers, I’d very much appreciate it…

And The Universe Finally Smiles On Jackie Blue… Sort Of…

Yes, dear readers, the universe has FINALLY decided to smile on me! Well… sort of, anyway. I suppose it depends on how you look at it. It’s complicated, so I thought I’d start out with the least complicated part of things to get us started. I got a Gatchaman Pop!!!! Yes, here he is, Condor Joe, sitting next to my glass and cigarettes in all his glory! LOOK AT HIM!!! Isn’t he beautiful?!? Okay, okay… I know I’m going overboard, but it’s so fucking hard to find anything from this anime because they didn’t make much and the quality was bad. The original series ran in Japan from 1972-1974, so you can imagine the lack of products. Hell, even when they Americanized it into Battle Of The Planets (my first introduction) that was 1979? There wasn’t much product then and, much as I loved the show, my mother never bought me anything from it. I did get an old lunch box from Facebook Marketplace, but that’s a story for another time… Anyway, I’ve loved this anime most of my life, so this is an exciting moment!

Okay… if you really want to see a beautiful collectible, it has to be this one…

I think I paid $50 for the set of all 5 main characters on eBay years ago, but it was worth every penny! It’s difficult to see in a picture, but there’s so much detail in this figure that’s maybe only 4 or 5 inches tall. It even came in a decorative package. Needless to say, Joe hasn’t been in that package since the day I got them. He’s stayed out of the box…

I bought a few other collectible figures on eBay as well. I have a set that’s nice but nowhere near as nice as this set (and it was a lot cheaper). I also have a set where they look like little Lego figures that comes with one of the other main characters. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it! Gatchaman in Lego form?! It was hilarious! Once I was done laughing my ass off, I bought the set and I just love it! Sadly, that’s really all I’ve ever found that I thought was worth buying. Or what I could afford, anyway… Like I said, it’s an old anime that has been forgotten except by old farts like me who watched Battle Of The Planets as kids. And since it didn’t gain the popularity of Speed Racer (Mach Go Go Go in Japan), it fell by the wayside and that was that. It always made me sad as it’s a wonderful anime. So any time I hear it mentioned or see it in a magazine or a collectible, I tend to freak out. It happens…

Now, onto the more complicated tale…

If you’ve been reading my weird ass entries for a while, first of all, thank you. Second, you’ll recall the frustrations with my friend Morticia and her asshole boyfriend Gomez. If not, you should really read them. I could write a drama with all the shit that went on… Anyway, this is where the universe really smiled on me. After telling her for, what, maybe the past 5 years that he was using her, he was mentally and emotionally abusive, all he did was take, never give and she should dump him… they FINALLY broke up! For GOOD! Jesus Christ! It’s about fucking time! The downside was having to be comforting and sympathetic (sympathy not being one of my strong suits in the first place) when all I could think was “thank fucking god I won’t ever have to listen to you bitch about how poorly Gomez treats you and have you not take my advice and dump the loser!” I know that sounds harsh, but if you knew the situation, no one would be on his team…

I’m thinking of getting a shirt printed up for Gomez…

So, to give you a good example of what kind of asshole Gomez is… For Christmas, Morticia bought him a $300 weed whacker (which he needed and wanted). He bought her chocolates (which he knows she doesn’t eat), a set of 4 dish towels (of which he kept one) and a Hickory Farms basket… So like $30… But it’s not the price. It’s that he got her things she doesn’t like and things you would buy for maybe your neighbor or boss. Gee, nothing says “I love you” quite like a basket full of smoked meats and cheeses… And the towels send a great message, “Hey bitch, wash my dishes.” His excuse was he couldn’t shop for her because she had to take him. Then stop being cheap and buy a car, you fuck! He really is a cheap prick. He has money, he just won’t spend it, hence the reason he has no car and Morticia had to drive him everywhere. But really, that’s still no excuse. And those gifts send a bad message. Well, that night, they got into a fight and he told her he didn’t love her anymore. Yeah, the meat basket didn’t make that clear… So they’re officially done.

So I’m now free of listening to all the whining and bitching about Gomez, but it comes at a price. And it’s a hefty one…

Morticia has very low self esteem and is very soft hearted. If he would ask her to take him back, she’d be stupid like the other times and do it. I honestly can’t understand… She didn’t even want to ask for the present she gave him back! She said she couldn’t be cold hearted, something she apparently thinks I am at times. Damn right I am! No one would treat me like that… So now I need to toughen her up so she doesn’t cave. Worse, her job got taken over by a new company that’s just horrible and the stress made her snap. Guess who’s been having to play shrink-dink? Yup, it’s been me… And when her family doctor put her on anti-depressants yet again, guess who’s been the one making sure she takes her pill every day? Yup, that’s been me, too. I know she hates the idea and she claims they make her nauseous. But she never takes them consistently, never takes them long enough to adjust and let the side effects go away or let the pills work.

We need a happy break… Have a happy Baxter picture to break up the bleakness. Isn’t he cute? He actually wanted me to take this one!

In any case… I think I have her to the point now where she understands the importance of taking this pill and that she’s been depressed for a long time and has been self medicating with alcohol. The dumbest thing she’s ever said to me was, “What’s the difference if I have one drink every day or I take a pill? I’d rather have a drink.” Oh my god… What fun, trying to give her a lecture on being an alcoholic without telling her she’s an alcoholic and have her get argumentative. I tried talking to her about that before and she got pissed at me. Oh well… I’m sorry, she is an alcoholic. If you don’t want a drink, you need one, you’re an alcoholic. Drink because you want to have a glass of wine with dinner, that’s fine. Hell, I drink, but I do it because I want to have one, not because I need to have one. Morticia has been drinking for years because she needs that drink after work. She makes mixed drinks and puts them in travel mugs and takes them in the car with her. But she’s not an alcoholic… Nope, not her… You know, I want to help her, but I can’t unless she’s willing to admit she has a problem. And I can’t help her with anything, really, unless she’s willing to take the help that’s given.

Still, this is how Morticia is on a regular basis. The upside here is that there’s one less thing she’ll be bitching to me about and that’s Gomez. So yes, the universe is smiling on me in that aspect. It took away one of the stresses she dumps on me every single day.

We need another break in the gloom… so here’s some more puppy love! I don’t often get pictures of Miko because she really hates having her picture taken. I’m sure you can tell because she never looks at the camera… She’ll look you in the eye, no problem. But she knows when you’re going to take a picture and she’s not having it. I think the last time I got her to look at me for a picture was when she was a tiny puppy. Now she’s 12… Sometimes I get sad when I look at her, see all the white hair she’s getting mixed in with the red…

Anyway, I had gone to the craft store the day I took this to get a few supplies and bought a pack of Valentine necklaces. I tried putting one on Baxter, but he kept jumping around and trying to eat it! But Miko, she’s my lady… She loves her bling! I put one on her and looped it through her collar so she wouldn’t get herself caught (it was long on her) and she strutted around like she was queen shit! She was so proud of her bling that I wanted to take a picture, which is the only reason she reluctantly agreed. She’s a funny old girl…

As to why I was at the craft store…

This is the present Morticia got me for Christmas! It’s a paint your own nutcracker! I’m still not sure why she thought I may not like it… Anyone who knows me knows I have a fetish for nutcrackers and I get a new one every year (sadly I only have one I keep out all year because he’s very old and looks like a fisherman, my friend rescued him from getting tossed in the trash). And I’m an artist, so what could be better than making my own? I’ve actually looked at these for years, but they looked kind of cheaply made and were pretty costly for looking so cheap. I think Morticia got this at an outlet store, one I’ve gotten some pretty nice art supplies at for cheap myself. I think he’s supposed to be an elf based on the ears, the nose and the shoes… And the example picture on the box! Did you ever see the movie The Goonies? Remember Sloth? The picture they had on the box looked like Sloth’s retarded cousin… It was so bad! I was bound and determined to make him look like a proper nutcracker and bling him all up! Currently he’s a work in progress… When I took this picture, I had his mouth propped open so the handle was out of my way while I was working on his boots. I still need to figure out what color I want the handle and base, what other designs I want to add to his clothes… I got faux fur for his hair and beard, which I’m also planning to put around the top part of his boots. He’s going to be like an ice king or something to that effect. I don’t know; I was just winging it with the colors. I had to call my mom to see if she had dark blue ribbon because I only had a powder blue, which was too light for his belt, It looked so nice I decided to put it around his cuffs as well. I also told her I want her to make him a cape. I bought tassels for his shoulders, so I think he needs a cape. Hey, I can’t sew for shit… She’s like the queen seamstress. She can do that part. But I think he looks pretty good so far. I’m proud of him!

Okay, I can’t help myself…

Yesterday, while playing Animal Crossing, I decided to remodel Marlo and his roomie Hamphrey’s vacation home, the one I called “The Family Business”. Seriously, look at Marlo. You know they fashioned him after Marlon Brando in The Godfather! And Hamphrey looks like he’d be good muscle, so I moved him in as a roomie. So while they were checking out their newly remodeled place, I got these screenshots that were just too perfect! But… I’ve never seen any of The Godfather movies. So I went on IMDB and looked up some quotes and made this funny little comic of sorts because… Yeah, I don’t know why. Because my brain isn’t right on occasion… My sense of humor is a little bit off, so weird things strike me funny and I just run with it. These pictures struck me funny for some reason. I mean, look at them! It’s like watching The Godfather with fat little hamsters! Hahahaa!

Honestly, Marlo is the running joke in this game. Everyone can tell where they got the inspiration for his character and everyone refers to him as a crime boss. Even funnier, Nintendo’s description of him eludes to the fact that he’s a crime boss and may not exactly be on the up and up and may be engaging in criminal activity. And this is an E for everyone game! Hahahaa!

Well, despite the big shit show that’s still going on in the world (is this COVID shit ever going away?!?) I hope that you’re all having a great start to 2022 so far!

Stay safe, stay healthy… Be kind to each other. And for the love of god, don’t touch anything!!! Seriously, one of you keeps touching something… Stop touching whatever it is so we can resume normal life. Namaste, dear readers!

Welcome To 2022: Don’t Touch Anything…

Seriously, TOUCH NOTHING!!! Maybe if we don’t touch anything, this year will go smoothly… One can hope…

So before I begin, let me first start by paying homage to a remarkable lady, Betty White, who sadly died the morning of New Year’s Eve, just 3 weeks before her 100th birthday. That genuinely made me sad… I actually drank a toast to her that night. We’ll miss you, Betty. The world is mourning your loss.

So… on with today’s program…

Yes, I’m sorry to say I’ll be spamming you with Animal Crossing screen shots… I took quite a few last year as well, but this year was, I think, a lot more impressive. You have to admire all the work and detail these people put into this shit, really… Just look at the fireworks! The colors, the vibrancy… Yeah, I know, it’s only impressive to video game geeks, right? Actually, that’s not necessarily true. I’m not a huge fan of video games of today (I grew up playing Atari 2600 when it was new). But after taking some of those computer animation classes, which are also required if you want to go into game design, you develop an appreciation for how much time and effort these people put into what they do to give you something that looks this spectacular. It took me six hours to make six seconds of animation and a month to make the character and set and it was only a puppet character! What does that tell you?! It’s hard work! Video games are far worse. They need to work with commands, so there’s a lot more work involved in making things move. It really is hard work.

And so I spent my New Year’s multi-tasking… While I was watching the ball drop, I was also ringing in the new year with my little animal friends, here. I did the same thing last year as everyone was stuck at home because of the lockdown and it was really nice. I figured if I couldn’t be with real people, at least I could king of be around something without a fucking hazmat suit.

I wasn’t about to abandon my little animal friends this year. They saw me through a lot of rough times, being trapped at home, not being able to be around people because we were practically prisoners in our own homes… Besides, I don’t go out anyway. I’m getting too old for that shit. I stay home, make a spread of food I can pick at over the course of the evening, watch The Twilight Zone marathon and, if I’m lucky, stay awake long enough to watch the ball drop. Honestly? I had more fun celebrating with my animal friends. Just look how cute they are! Especially my little squirrely “boyfriend”, Marshal. Look how fucking adorable he is! I swear he has a crush on me, the way he talks to me… He pays me a lot of nice compliments all the time. I had a character like that in one of the other games. He used to write me beautiful letters… Hey, it lifts my spirits anyway. But I think the best is the last picture… I caught Zell with that stupid, wide-eyed look on his face that just completely cracked me up! I mean look at him! His expression, his stance… It’s so comical! There were hats, party poppers, sparkling cider and glow sticks (remember this is “E” for “Everyone”)… It was just a lot of fun!

I finally got to try something high class!

But that’s not to say I didn’t have some adult fun… It just means I played drunken Animal Crossing… That was interesting…

As you can see, aside from my mother being a bake-a-holic (which has recently gotten worse and someone needs to take the internet away from her), I got a treat for New Year’s Eve… I’ve always wanted to try Moët & Chandon. Aside from it being held in such high regard, I also wanted to try it because it happens to be the champagne mentioned in the opening line of the song “Killer Queen” (my favorite of their songs). For decades I’ve wanted to try it, but it’s pricey. This particular bottle cost $50! No offense, but for someone who grew up poor and isn’t well off even at this age, that’s a lot of fucking dollars for a bottle of any kind of alcohol. So I just dreamed about it instead… But this year, I actually got to have one night where I got to feel high class. I finally got to drink Moët & Chandon…

I literally shot a video of the entire experience. Hey, when am I going to get that chance again, right?! And yes, I realize that’s a wine glass I have it in, but my champagne flutes are blue and I wanted to see the beautiful color of the champagne, not the shitty blue color of the glasses, so I had to use my wine glasses. Christ, I’ve had these wine glasses since I was in my early 20s! My friend’s mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas one year and I said socks. I wasn’t kidding; I really needed socks. I was forever getting holes in them because I’m hard on footwear. So when she handed me this box, I was perplexed. Here she had gotten me a set of four wine glasses, these, and stuffed a pair of socks in each glass, hahahaa! And I still use the glasses to this day!

As for what $50 champagne tastes like… Hmm, that’s tough, actually. It was a bit like a bitter wine. It was very dry and incredibly bubbly. But very tasty! However, if you haven’t consumed alcohol in a long time because you’re on meds and skip your Klonopin just so you can have one night to enjoy something good, I can tell you that your head will spin pretty good and you’ll turn stupid!

Still not sure I’m happy with the face yet…

Christmas was fairly nice… I received some nice gifts. Once of the best ones was this, a paint your own nutcracker from Morticia! She told me she knew it was me as soon as she saw it, but she kept going past it a few times before she picked it up. Then she kept telling me she didn’t know if I was going to like it and kept asking me to let me tell her what it was. I told her no, I wanted to be surprised and that if she thought it was me I was sure I’d love it. The night we exchanged gifts, she made me promise to tell her honestly what I thought even if I hated it. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropping and the gasp said it all… I had been wanting to get one for years, but they all looked so cheap. I don’t know where she got this one, but he’s really sturdy! So far I sketched on his face and I’m going to stare at it for a long time before I decide whether or not I like it before I paint. I know me; if I jump into it too quick, I’ll decide later that I hate it. So I want to make sure this is what I like first. It’s just a rough sketch so I know what goes where, but I still have to like it first. I’m also going to the craft store to get fluff for hid beard and hair, maybe some bling… He’s going to look like a proper nutcracker by the time I’m done with him. That’s my ultimate goal.

My friend M&M got me some canvas and this cool “make your own comic” book that literally has the pages already made into templates with words balloons and everything! I think it’s for younger kids, but like that matters to me… I can make my own fucking comic in an actual book! I’ve already started working!

In the back of the book, I found this cool page… Interestingly enough, though you can’t see what it says because my hand is covering it, it seems I use all but one part of my right brain and I also use a great deal of my left. Weird, huh? Anyway, so I sent this picture to M&M and asked her which one she wanted to be. I thought of making her the foodie because she loves food and loves trying new foods and restaurants she finds. But she actually liked the first guy, so that’s her and I dubbed her “the giggle box” because we laugh a lot when we’re together. Of course I told her I was dubbing myself “the mad”. She agreed that was me, hahahaa!

You know, much as I appreciate getting art supplies, sometimes it’s a bit meh… My sister got me more canvas, paint and brushes. What she doesn’t know is I already have a ton of canvas from other years. Last year she got me a lot fo weird, unique things that really made me smile (especially the “Poe-kadot socks with Poe heads all over them). Art supplies are nice, but it kind of says, “Yeah, I didn’t put much thought into your gift. I know you like to paint, so I got you stuff to paint.” And actually, I haven’t painted in a long time. I’m just not inspired right now. So yeah…

But that’s okay because last night I have found a new quest for myself…

I was bored, surfing YouTube and came across this video… DID YOU KNOW FUNKO MADE GATCHAMAN POPS?!? Yeah, neither did I! My jaw hit the floor and I could only stare at the screen in awe as I saw that, for the love of all that is holy in anime, FUNKO ACTUALLY MADE GATCHAMAN POPS!!! I couldn’t take my eyes off the Joe Pop… He’s always been my favorite character… So guess who’s going to be spending the better part of their day trying to call whoever I need to and driving wherever I need to go in order to get my mitts on these Pops?! Yeah, the crazy obsessed bitch writing this! Of course we need two of Joe… One needs to be unboxed so I can play with him because… well, I’m just a big kid at heart, I suppose!

Well, dear readers, though I have some interesting tales I could tell… my ass is seriously starting to hurt from sitting on it this long!

So I’ll leave you all here by saying I hope you all had a wonderful and safe holiday and I hope the New Year brings all of us a helluva lot better than the last two years have because they completely fucking sucked monkey balls! COVID needs to go the fuck away! So be careful, dear readers… Touch nothing! For the love of god, be careful when you breathe! One wrong move and we could still be fucked! So yeah… touch nothing… Be on your best behavior. Cross your fingers and toes that we get back to what life once was because we’re all sick of this shit. I hope 2022 will be a good year, but I’m seriously not holding any expectations…

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