Yesterday I went to Target in search of Claritin (useless shit, but my insurance doesn’t cover the shit that actually works) and a flannel shirt to cover up with when my arms get chilly. Don’t ask how the bill got so high because I don’t know… Anyway… I happened to see this gorgeous number while walking past the ladies department. Oh, it was a vision! I stared at it longingly for a long time… I have nowhere and no occasion to wear something so lovely. But it was so gorgeous, I had to hold it up to myself. I was in love… It was only $38, so I decided what the fuck, I was going to buy this dress I had absolutely no use for. However, after I decided to try it on and model it, I realized that I did have a use for it and a very important one at that…. I’ve been feeling very old, rather fat and just unattractive in general for quite some time. Then I put this dress on and took a look at myself… Even with unwashed, undone hair and no makeup (that’s from an app on my phone), I felt so amazingly beautiful in that dress! I felt as if I was ready to walk the red carpet at some gala event with all eyes on me! That feeling was more than worth the $38…

Of course part of my reason for feeling (and looking) like a washed out old rag is because I just recently got over having COVID… Certainly different from when I had it almost two years ago, I can tell you that. The cold symptoms weren’t that annoying, just like any cold. The fever, while low grade, was like it was the first time… break it and get it back a dozen times a day. But this time it wreaked havoc and pissed off my emphysema and my IBS, I’m still not quite right and I’ve heard others tell me they had similar issues with it, Fun times… I also lost my sense of smell this time and was so nauseous I didn’t want to eat. I spent most of my time laying around, being bored. And this was a special type of boredom… I watched every episode of the old Land of the Lost TV show on YouTube and making my new get well friend here dance as I was singing, “Cotton candy, sweetie go, Let me see the Cinnamoroll” to the tune of the song “Tootsee Roll“… Boredom at it’s finest…

I wish I could have used my COVID downtime wisely, but I’ve been very uninspired lately… And when I say lately, I mean for months… I haven’t drawn, written or painted anything of any significance in I don’t know how long and I don’t know why. It’s been bothering me to the point that I feel like I’m losing my marbles… So when I made a trip to my favorite hippie dippy store yesterday and saw this book, I immediately pulled it off the shelf and decided to buy it because I just knew it was there for me. But when I went to pay for all my amazing finds, the owner looked at the book funny, started to make comment, then opened it to the first pages. Here it was her own personal book that someone had given her (and written an inscription in) that had somehow gotten mixed up in the other books. She did say she would try to order me one if I wanted to which I said I did because I was suffering a major art block that was just horrible. She sat and looked thoughtful for a few moments before telling me, “You know what? I think you need this more than I do…” She sold me the book after all! I told her not to, but she wasn’t hearing of it. Isn’t she sweet?

I also got this amazing scent while I was there! I like scents that create a calm in me and this was definitely one of those! In some ways, it reminds me a bit of the old Love’s Baby Soft body spray they had way back in the day… Kind of, but not exactly. It gives off those same vibes, though. Either way, it’s very relaxing and I really needed that. I’ve been very stressed and getting COVID didn’t help that any. That put a great deal of physical stress on me I wasn’t planning on having on top of the mental stress I have just by living in the “hood”…

I think Saturday night was my favorite… One of my next door neighbors decided to have a campfire in the back yard, you know, in one of those fire pits. Now, I live in a tiny borough of less than 3,000 people, so we’re pretty rural, here, even if this neighborhood of townhomes has literally turned into a “hood”. Backyard fires (even in our tiny yards) are awesome and smell great as the nights get chilly and fall approaches. But not Saturday night… I have no idea what the fuck they were burning, but it wasn’t just wood. The entire back of all the houses as far as the eye could see was smoke filled with this rancid smelling smoke, the fire was smoldering and the neighbors were all in the house, no lights on downstairs, only upstairs. After an attempt at knocking on the door, the cops were called, the fire chief dispatched and he got the weird neighbors to answer the door and ripped them a new one. I’m hoping I get to find out what they were burning because I was coughing, my throat was burning, my whole house reeked… And I woke the next day with the worst migraine from whatever it was. And if it’s not those idiots trying to burn down the hood, it’s the neighbor’s new boyfriend on the other side, revving his loud ass truck, peeling off down the street at all ungodly hours or working on his truck with his stereo blasting the worst music ever…

So when I first walked into my favorite hippie dippy store, the first thing I did was take a deep breath and sighed… Everything just melted away and I felt so much lighter! I know, it sounds silly to some people, but it helps… This was another one of my finds, a spirit bell. It’s supposed to ward off bad spirits, negativity, things of that nature, when you ring it. In my hood, I’ll be ringing this thing constantly, hahahaa!

I also bought a beautiful necklace, which I’ll post a picture of. The stone is to help keep you grounded, which is something I seriously need right now. I forget what stone it is, exactly… I think they have an app for that, but I’ll be damned if I can remember what the name of it is…

So my little shopping excursion to buy allergy medicine turned into a spending spree that I really shouldn’t have had… I’m not surprised, to be honest. I haven’t been feeling myself and I’ve been struggling with some issues lately. Every time that happens, that bipolar part of me that says, “Let’s go shopping, buy a shit ton of stuff you don’t need that will make you feel good only temporarily that you’ll regret buying later because it was a stupid purchase,” takes over and, well… That never happens at the hippy dippy place, but it does happen at Target…

A few months back, my mother had asked me if I would go to an event with her… Apparently her graduating class decided to throw a birthday party (not a class reunion, mind you) because they were all turning 75 this year. The Sponge doesn’t want to go with her (shocking), so she asked if I would like to go and I said, “Sure,” without really thinking. This was before I had that horrible epiphany, “Holy shit, my mother is going to be 75…” and had a mini mental breakdown… I’d forgotten about the party until she brought it up again over the weekend, as it’s coming up next month, and seemed almost gleeful that she could tell people there that I was her youngest daughter and I’m 51… Seriously, is she trying to make me feel old?! I don’t know if she’s proud of the fact that her kids aren’t much younger than her or what… She got knocked up on prom night with my sister (how cliche) and she had me at 23… I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of… She grew up with us instead of being a parent, really. Some people might think that’s better, but I’m telling you, it’s really not. In all honesty, I’m not sure why I said I’d go to this thing. I don’t think I was really thinking much about it when she asked and I just gave an off-handed reply. But now that I’m thinking about it… Why ask me? I realize she doesn’t want to go alone and if the Sponge isn’t going, she needs someone to go with her. She could take my sister… But I could see how that would go. Being a nurse practitioner, she’d either spend the night having people want her to examine them or give them the names of good hospice care companies. But Jackie… She acts young and creates fun wherever she goes! She likes the same music and will get out on that dance floor! She can be a real social butterfly! Goody… Jackie has to put on her mask and be party girl so a bunch of older folks who are dead inside can feel alive for a night… I’m just not in the mood for this right now. So why am I doing this? I don’t know. I guess because she asked…

So, dear readers, I leave you with a picture of my new keychain that came with my latest Vinyl Moon album… It’s from a song titled “Gato à l’orange” which makes no sense… Gato is Spanish for cat while the à l’orange part is French. Besides the fact that it would translate to “cat with orange sauce” not “cat with an orange”… I don’t understand people…

Until next time, dear readers, stay away from shit slinging election bullshit so you can keep your sanity, stay physically and mentally healthy and stay beautiful. Love and good vibes to you all!