I’ve Given Up On Humanity…

Happy Halloween, dear readers! Normally I’m quite excited at this time of year… Next to Christmas, Halloween is right up there as my favorite holiday. But not this year… Shit has been going so far south, I don’t even know where to begin. And, although I love to see all the little ones in their adorable little costumes, I’m just not really in the mood for passing out candy. Yesterday was just the worst in a long line of horrible days lately and I just don’t know if I have it in me to be excited. Especially when I also have teens trick-or-treating… I don’t mind teens doing it. Hell, I did as a teen myself. But the teens in my “hood” are like thugs, kids that are literally just one step away from landing themselves a nice lengthy stay in a cold prison cell. I need to be in the right frame of mind to cheerfully hand them candy and compliment the sad ass costume they threw together and I’m not feeling it…

Well, at least I tried to create 80s makeup…

But before I get ahead of myself…

A few entries back I mentioned I was going to see Duran Duran with my sister because we’re both fucking old, apparently, and that’s what old people do, they go see outdated groups from their youth for crazy prices. Thank god it was my sister who brought it up about wanting to go… Our seats weren’t bad but they weren’t great, either and they were $209 each! I’m glad she had money like that to piss away… The section where we were that was closest to the stage cost $500 each and I don’t even want to know how much the floor seats cost… In any case, I did my best to do a more subdued 80s makeup look for that night. Could I have done the hair? You bet! I still remember how to do all that fun shit I used to do to damage the shit out of my hair! But it didn’t seem like a wise idea… Instead I just decided on the makeup and a more 80-ish style of clothing. My sister, ever prudent, dressed like a frumpy Haus Frau… Oof… Well, at least one of us tried to fit in with the evening’s events… I had a boring dinner with her and her boyfriend, then we were off.

FYI, these are in 5X zoom, so close but not terribly close…

I noticed a change in my prudent sister as. we stood in line for merch… We were discussing the shirts we could see (I had to stand on my toes, I’m about 3 inches taller than her) and I noticed they had one that said Notorious. When I told her this, she said, “I love that song!” with the biggest smile on her face. I told her I did, too, returning her smile. Without a word, we both suddenly sang, “No-no-Notorious!” right in the middle of the line, hahahaa! She was hooting and hollering as loudly as I was, getting excited over songs as much as I was… The entire place lost their shit as soon as we we heard, “Th-th-th-th-the Reflex”… At one point, my sister said, between songs, “I hope they do ‘Girls On Film’!” And no lie, they started playing and it was “Girls On Film”! We were both so excited! The best part is that you’d swear you’d gone back in time and it was 40 years ago… Simon LeBon sounds no different now than he did back in the early 80s (even my mom said as much when I played the videos I took) and the remaining members (they only lost one) still look damn good for guys in their 60s! It was just outstanding! They played all the best songs! But the best part was that my sister and I got to feel and act like fangirly teenagers for a night… Not only was it nice to feel young, but it was nice to bond with her for once. We both have shirts and totes, too… It was great!

I don’t want to tell you the cost of these…

But you know all wasn’t perfect… Aside from the fact that I’d had an awful day before hand (which had left me in a foul mood and ready to blow off some steam), we had to deal with these two drunken assholes…

The way the stadium is set up, the seats face the floor (for sporting events), so we stood and turned right to face the stage. The drunken couple (maybe about my sister’s age) that were in front of her kept leaving and coming back. Of course when they came back, the woman would tap me on the shoulder harshly to let me know they wanted to come through. And it was always when I was recording something. Like she couldn’t wait… It was really starting to piss me off because they were coming and going so much as it was. The last time, I’d had enough, so when she tapped me, I ignored her. Instead of rudely tapping my shoulder again, she tapped the side of my tit!! No lie, this woman I didn’t know had the balls to rudely and harshly tap my fucking side boob! What the actual fuck?! She’s damn lucky I didn’t lay her ass out right then and there! But I really wanted to see the concert. Even if I had, I’m sure it would have been excused. You just don’t do that…

So let’s get into why things have been so bad… First, they’ve been doing construction on the house next door (it’s a rental) and I had an altercation with one of the trained apes they have doing the half assed work because I feared the way they were hacking the tree overhanging my property, it would fall on my roof (it would have if they kept going) and was met with mockery. I own, asshole! I have every right to be concerned for my property! This happened the day of the concert… It’s long and involved and I don’t want to piss myself off going into all the details for fear of sparking it up again. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I went to this 75th birthday party my mom’s graduating class was throwing so she wouldn’t have to go stag (the sponge refused to go along). It was nice! I got to see a friend of hers I’d known in childhood that I haven’t seen since I was about 9 or 10, I got to see my mom’s cousin I haven’t seen since I was about 5, and I saw my 8th grade math teacher and my 10th grade English teacher! But… one guy’s wife asked if I graduated with them… Bitch do I look 75?! Fuck right the fuck off!!

I got my new phone on the 11th (yay), but my Apple Watch is having issues pairing with it. I have to jump through hoops to get the thing to pair up with it and, when I do, it stays paired for several days and then suddenly unpairs itself for no good god damned reason. I put in two separate calls to Apple Support before finally getting sent to the Apple Store where the guy there confirmed what I’d been telling the goofballs on the phone all along, that it’s a software issue. After all, with the new phone came an update (right out of the box, go figure) and I had no issues with the last update and my watch. He got it working beautifully, so I thought… But here I am, currently on the phone with Apple Support, because my phone needs to go in for service. I could get a replacement sent immediately, but I can’t afford to have a hold for $500 on my bank account for several days until they get my old one back. So now I wait…

Yesterday I was at my GP’s office… I’m still gaining weight and I don’t know why. I was so upset, I started to cry. He was very quick to offer generic Ozempic, but I don’t have an appetite curbing issue. But I love how quick he was to offer it… I never thought my GP would hop on that bandwagon of handing out Ozempic and its generics like candy instead of finding the underlying issue. But when I told him I hardly ate, he realized maybe we need to look at my thyroid again…

So there I was, feeling like this amorphous blob with no hope of ever figuring out what the fuck is up with that and how to fix it… I had to do some shopping, pick up a few things I needed, including candy for tonight’s festivities (always wait until the last minute, the candy goes on sale super cheap). I had run into Target and made my way to my favorite section– the dollar aisle. I love that area. I find the goofiest, most amazing things there for only a few bucks. I’ve gotten decorations, arts and crafts, seeds to plant, socks… But this time I found these ridiculous looking, completely useless things. Aren’t they hilarious?! Drumstick slippers!! I couldn’t not buy them! When it comes to Thanksgiving and turkey, I’m a fucking crazy lady… I baste that damn bird obsessively and I’m literally crazy about the food I make (always too much). I’m like the queen of Thanksgiving. So what better way to show off my mad turkey making skills than with these ridiculous slippers? But that wasn’t the half of it… I put them on as soon as I got all the tags cut out of them and my dog Baxter decided to follow me across the house, trying his damndest to eat my slippers! I assume he thought they were actual drumsticks, hahahaa! It took a lot of talking to before he understood that they were just slippers!

Well, dear readers, it’s time I come to a close… But before I do, I’ll leave you a little something to check out if you happen to get Apple TV+. If you’re looking for a good, bizarre, edge of your seat thriller (even though Halloween is already here), I suggest M. Night Shyamalan’s Servant. I don’t want to give anything away about the story… Just go watch it. The first episode or two are a bit slow, but stick with it; it picks up and you won’t be able to stop watching it, I promise! I finished all four seasons in two days! Oh, and you’re seeing that right… That is Rupert Grint, the kid who played Ron Weasley in Harry Potter…

Have a safe and Happy Halloween, dear readers! I shall see you after all hallows eve has ended and the time of ghosts and ghouls is over…

My Thought Process Is Still Processing…

I had a thought while watching last night’s choice of “bad horror movies to watch during the month of October”… It was Leonard Nemoy’s pod person doppelgänger that set the wheels in motion. As he was explaining the benefits of succumbing, becoming a pod person and assimilating, he tells the characters of Matthew and Elizabeth that it’s painless, they’ll retain all their memories and they’ll never have to worry about anxieties ever again. Hold up… No anxieties ever again?!? Plus you get a new, hopefully untainted body (though I doubt that as they’re literal clones). But imagine, being able to go through the process, coming out of it with all your memories intact, a shiny new body for you (to start treating right or start abusing again, your choice) and you’ll be totally anxiety free forever… Damn! Sign me up, brother! I’m down with that! And you’re probably thinking me mad right now… I think the friend I was conversing with last night while watching this movie thought the same. But, at the same time, I think they also understood why I’d like the idea of no anxiety for the rest of my life…

Coincidentally, I had another strange conversation with the same person…

Somehow the subject came up about the tune “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”… It’s weird how the conversation began. It actually started out with two other songs I loathe, Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” and Bryan Adam’s “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”. I literally loathe both those songs… I found them both mediocre at best when they were released, so I really didn’t care for them right off the bat. But what really made them insufferable was the non-stop airplay. If you turned on the radio at any point and time when these songs were at their peak (and even when they weren’t), guaranteed they were on several stations at once. So I’d asked this person, forgetting the good memories attached to those songs and forgetting the fact that the deejays were telling us that was what we were supposed to like, what were their thoughts on those songs? They were still positive (go figure) but I think they couldn’t separate personal feelings from the songs. Just like that Bobby McFerrin song… Was it good? No! They told you it was what everyone liked, so you liked it. Except me… I always hated it and to this day have never heard it all the way through. I chose to worry and be unhappy, which my friend laughed at…

I have a feeling this friend is going to start to think I’ve lost my marbles pretty soon. If the pod people conversation and my deciding it was better to worry and be unhappy than to listen to that shitty song wasn’t enough, I’m sure the one regarding Edgar set it in stone…

The craft store, Michael’s, happened to have all their Halloween decor on sale. I do love a good sale… As we walked in, I happened to see this magnificent bust of Poe sitting on a shelf right inside the door. I practically squealed with delight (as he is one of my favorite authors) and picked him up immediately! Edgar was coming home… Of course my friend’s reaction was, “What the fuck do you want that for? Halloween is almost over!” I pulled Edgar away, closer to me, protectively and simply stated, “Who said he’s for Halloween?! He’s going on my bookshelf!” By that I literally meant he’s going to stay there all year long… I also have a framed print of a raven that says Nevermore, another Halloween decoration I decided to keep on my bookshelf all year round. I’m a huge fan of Poe’s work, but it’s not as if you can get a bust of him for your bookshelf like you can of Shakespeare… So when I saw this, I knew I had to have it! Is it fucking weird? Maybe… Does my house sometimes look a bit like the Addams’ house from the old TV show? Um… also maybe…

I also could resist this gem when I was on my Michael’s excursion… Now I need to find some bed sheets printed to look like a Ouija board and I’m set, hahahaa! Seriously, someone reading this either make them or suggest it to someone you know who can… That would be amazing!

Obviously Halloween is one of my favorite times of year… It’s literally right up there with Christmas as my favorite holiday! The weird thing is, I really like some of the decor, but not just for Halloween… Some items I literally keep out all year long (hence why my house looks like the Addams’ house from the TV show) and Michael’s had a metric butt ton of items I would have loved to have bought for my art area, which is where I usually keep the craziest of my decor that makes absolutely no fucking sense to have anywhere else the entire year. But there are some problems with that, mainly if I’d bought everything I’d wanted to get, my wallet would have been glaring at me rather harshly and lecturing me on the rather nasty habit of bipolar spending that I have… especially when I get all manically artsy…

So as my final random thought for the day, I’ll leave you with this… Amazon Prime listed the movies they thought I’d like last night just like this: The Slumber Party Massacre, It’s A Wonderful Life and Deliver Us From Evil… Am I the only one who sees something wrong, here…?! You have a movie about people getting massacred at a slumber party, people needing deliverance from evil and in between you have someone having a wonderful life… The fucking irony was not wasted on me, Prime! Hahahaa!

You Can’t Reason With A Headless Man…

By that same token, you can’t reason with anyone headless (aka brainless). It’s a waste of time…

It’s October and, as is my tradition, it’s time for me to start binge watching my favorite Halloween horrors and recommending them to my friends. This, however, is one I often forget, Disney’s The Adventures of Mr. Toad and Ichabod Crane. Ah, those catchy songs crooned by Bing Crosby’s mellow voice and his amazing narration… And those lyrics! My personal favorite are in the song about the headless horseman: They say he’s tired of his flaming top, He’s got a yen to make a swap, So he rides one night each year, To find a head in the Hollow here. Sheer brilliance!

It’s the new school master, What’s his name? Ichabod–Ichabod Crane… Ichabod, what a name, Kind of odd, But nice just the same… I can’t help but notice that, in some ways, he looks a bit like Bing Crosby. I think it’s the big ears, hahahaa! Seriously, I love Disney’s design of this character. He’s absolutely ridiculous! He’s comically skinny, his hands and feet and clownishly over-sized as are his Cadillac door ears and his face reminds me of a turkey with that beak of a nose and lack of a chin. He seems like he would be the target of many a cruel joke or thrashing that he couldn’t defend himself against, but he actually does and he does so with this ease that makes you believe it’s an unconscious, instinctual act. They think him the fool, but he’s quite street savvy.

This is one I definitely recommend for your Halloween watching delight. It’s not shit your pants scary, but it’s good entertainment for this time of year and gives you some giggles. That’s true of other Disney Halloween movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas (who doesn’t love when that kid hold up that shrunken head and gives his parents that face?) and the Hocus Pocus movies? Granted, the original Hocus Pocus is still the best, but the sequel has a few good points to it. Well… really I can only think of one good point, that you get to see how the Sanderson sisters became witches in the first place. Billy Butcherson had a fun part in the sequel as well, given the opportunity to express his true hatred for Winifred and clear up a few things about their supposed relationship.

Now whereas I do enjoy gore and the classic monster movie, that’s not my goto… One of my personal favorite Halloween movies is the comedy Arsenic And Old Lace. There’s something about an old Carey Grant comedy that’s just too good to pass up. I’m also partial to Stephen King movies, the Friday The 13th movies and the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise. Alfred Hitchcock movies are always a winner as are psychological thrillers. I could make a mile long list of great movies for this season, but that would be a bit boring I feel… And my entertainment isn’t restricted to just movies and tv shows. Every October, I break out my big book of Poe (literally, everything Poe ever wrote is in this book) and I read my favorites all month long. There’s nothing like snuggling up on a cool, dark night with a cup of coffee or tea with The Tell-Tale Heart or The Black Cat…

In the spirit of the season, I thought I’d share a picture of one of the souvenirs Morticia got for me when she visited Salem, Massachusetts over the summer. I need this in a big ass sign I can post on my house so everyone will know not to push my buttons, hahahaa…

One of my connected neighbors moved out literally a few days ago… Once I would have been quite upset at the prospect of her leaving, fearful of getting scumbags moved in her place. I own my home, but most of these places are rentals and often the people who get moved in aren’t accustomed to small borough life. they come from cities and are very rude and inconsiderate… Normally I’d be worried about getting such people now that she’s moved, but I don’t see what the fuck it matters. What little bit of a friendship we had fell by the wayside (her doing, not mine) and she’s made a huge mess of her life. She’s currently engaged to what I assume will become husband number three and, I must say, he’s a creepy asshole. Even she had made the comment during one of their hundreds of fights that she “sure knows how to pick them”… Right before they moved, I noticed her “fiancé” creep behind my back fence and just stood there for a very long time. I don’t know what the fuck he was doing, but when she came outside and asked him that very question, he finally came out of hiding. What a creep!

Here’s my other souvenir Morticia picked up… Anyway, so he was literally creeping behind my fence under the cover of trees and I wondered how many times he’d done this before, exactly, that I didn’t notice, that maybe that’s why the dogs were freaking out at the back door and I had no clue why… There are a lot of things about this guy that make him seem more than a little sus, believe me. Worse, she decided to take to Facepuke and write this long ass post, blaming the husband for her current predicament. She’s claiming he up and deserted her in the middle of the night with no warning, left her high and dry with all the bills, took her car, all this happy horse shit. The truth of it is that she was telling people (me for one) that she was going to kick him out at the beginning of the year… And as for him taking her car? He has every right since she wasn’t working and he bought it. She had her own car when she left her first husband, but when her kid blew up his vehicle and had nothing to drive, she let him use hers and he blew that one, too. He’s a horrible driver… Husband number two bought her a vehicle so she had something. If she bounced him, he had every right to take it. Especially since I think she bounced him for this piece of shit. I don’t care if you knew him before hand or not, you don’t hook up with someone that fast. I actually miss the second husband, he was a nice guy. He was also considerate and kind. The new one was an asshole. I can’t say I’ll miss them because I won’t. Wherever they ended up, good riddance…

I blame the auroras… Amazingly, I got to see some! I couldn’t see them with my naked eye like everyone else in my small borough supposedly could, but if I took a picture, they showed up in there. Isn’t that amazing?! I’ve never seen them before, but they’re so stunning! Maybe that’s why everyone’s been acting like loose looney’s. It’s the auroras messing with people’s heads, hahahaa!

I finally got my new iPhone 16 Pro Max on Friday… Thank goodness! The concert my sister and I are supposed to attend is coming up very soon and I want to make sure I get the best pictures I can possibly get! I also have a party I promised my mother I’d go to… Her graduating class is throwing themselves a birthday party since they’re all turning 75 this year and she didn’t want to go solo, so she asked me to go. Yeah, that’ll be a fun evening… Whee…

By Unpopular Opinion…

Hello, dear readers… It’s time for another segment of “Jackie flips shit and goes off on some fucking opinionated rampage”… I’m old; that’s my excuse. I didn’t apologize for having an opinion when I was young, so I’m certainly not going to apologize for having one now, not even if it seems a bit harshly worded. Am I opinionated…? Possibly. Do I care…? Heavens no. Once you get to be a certain age (and looking at pictures of myself lately, man, I can see the age), you really do stop giving a fucking shit what people think and feel about you because you realize it’s just not worth the wrinkle you’ll give yourself over it. And if you do still worry about shit like that once you reach a certain age– well– that’s kind of sad because you really shouldn’t. Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one. And, by that same token, shit comes out of all of them just the same. Simply something to keep in mind while I go off on my tirade…

Lately I’ve had the displeasure of having some conversations I wish I’d rather not have had… Mind you, there are two things I never discuss with anyone. One is politics and the other is religion. And yet, recently, I’ve been having to have discussions on the latter with someone who is young, inexperienced, opinionated, educated as far as what has been read online (which you can’t always consider to be “reliable”) and is unfamiliar with how politics work in reality and only understands how they work in theory (ie: how it says they’re supposed to work on paper). The other conversations I’ve gotten roped into… Well, they are also with younger individuals, the kind who absolutely need something to be offended about or outraged over all the time, the type that is all too quick to jump up on that soap box and preach only to sound like a jackass when they do because they have absolutely no clue what the fuck they’re talking about. And so it goes…

Hahahaa… I wonder if he knows about this…

So this is one of the memes I post to Facebook every election year… Yeah, I “Rick Roll” everyone, but it lets them know my stance on politics. Honestly, I really haven’t had much of an opinion most of my life with the exception of this: It doesn’t matter who you vote for, whoever gets in is going to fuck something up; they all do. And that’s true; every single one of them (except maybe the ones in the early history of this country) have fucked something up, great or small. Rick Astley would be a better option… However, I have taken more of an interest since one election in particular. Among friends and family, my opinion has been very unpopular since. I’m sure it had nothing to do with me stating at the beginning of said election (during one of the speeches on television), “He’ll end up being the next Hitler, you just wait and see if I’m not right…” Yeah, that doesn’t win you points with people, to be honest. It probably didn’t win me points with some of you, either…

I also think this one is particularly funny…

I also post this meme every election year… Anyway, my opinion stems largely from remembering what a disgusting piece of shit he’s been since he’s been in the media back in the 80s (because, again, I’m old). If a person can’t be loyal and honest to their family, to their businesses, why would you think they could be so to their country…? I felt it was a legitimate question that no one seemed to want to answer and would just greet with hostility. Now the counter-argument is his successor shitting his pants on-air… Not a good look for a president, I agree. But to be honest, I feel that, in general, the last thing we need is to have an old man whose cognitive skills are in question back in office. It’s reminiscent of the Regan years when that doddering old, Alzheimer’s ridden fool had the country so scared he was going to push the button and start WWIII that it was the theme of all the movies and music videos of the time.

To be fair, I hate the other option and would prefer Rick Astley or Vanilla Ice at this point… I really don’t like either option, but what I really don’t like is that the person I was having the discussion with takes things at face value and you can’t. You can’t listen to the shit slinging ads, the candidates themselves or anything else, really… You need to read between the lines at all times and listen not to what they do say but rather what they don’t say… And if they’re warning you about something, like this Proposition 2025, do your homework and really read this thing instead of just listening to the good parts they tell you about. Always read the fine print in everything because that’s where they always fuck you over…

The other big debate as of late is this… Seriously?! Yup, I shit you not, this is the subject of debate right now, Lyle and Erik Menendez and the latest Netflix series about them… Now, I was a junior in high school when they were arrested for murdering their parents and in my early 20s when they were finally found guilty and sentenced, so I remember this from the days before Netflix could distort certain aspects of their story and gain sympathy for the two. Keep that in mind… I actually remember my job having the television in our break room on all day long during the OJ Simpson case for an entire fucking year so that we could watch some of it in passing and we could watch it when they finally passed sentencing… A lot of us were pissed… No, not for racial reasons. I think all of us in the building thought he did it and he got off because he was famous and bought his freedom. And some of us were pissed because there was literally nothing on television for a year but that fucking trial…

The very fact that there are people out there saying Netflix did them dirty (they did with the incest aspect), that they should be set free because “their parents deserved it” is just appalling… There are other people that were sexually abused by their parents, just as badly or worse. They moved out as soon as they were old enough. Why didn’t they? Simple… they would have had to get jobs and support themselves. They could have kicked the shit out of the old man instead of putting up with the abuse, but they’d be out of the will. They killed them in cold blood while they slept, tried to call it a mafia hit, then spent $700,000 in a week. Yeah, they were abused and scared of their parents alright…

So… you’ve got people getting into heated political arguments about which one of Lucifer’s minions should get elected (seriously, either way we’re getting a loser this time just like last time), idiots wanting to let murderers loose because they think it’s okay to kill your parents if they touch your “no-no” place instead of finding another alternative (like there isn’t one) along with all these other fruit loops that are running around being offended because you don’t know what their pronouns are just by looking at them (sorry for calling them as I see them) as if we’re supposed to know when we see a guy who looks like a man, sounds like a man, has a dick, but because he’s wearing a dress he want’s to be referred to as she/her… You know, I have a rather high IQ… But in no way, shape or form can you ever make any of that make sense. I’m chalking it up to them being fruit loops and not to me being old…

But again, take this all with a grain of salt… They’re just my opinions. I’m entitled to them just as you’re entitled to yours. And gain, opinions are like assholes; everybody’s got one and they all spout shit just the same. Should you listen to me? Hell no! I’m just some old lady voicing her thoughts in a blog. You shouldn’t listen to me or take what I say to heart. I can be an asshole; I know it. Look my bracelet tells you so! Hahahaa… It’s for Halloween; I got it at the hippy dippy store, but I figure it warns people about my personality as well…

Take nothing to heart, dear readers… What I think and feel are of no consequence to anyone but me, just as what others think and feel are of no consequence to me. That’s how you have to look at life in general… You do you, whatever makes you happy. You shouldn’t let anyone’s opinions stand in the way of that.

So now I’m going to sit back and continue to chill out to Cold Play (which I’ve been doing the entire time I’ve been writing this). It sounds like a nice way to spend a dreary afternoon…

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