Well ho fucking ho, dear readers! Did you miss me…? Nah… I know you didn’t. You, like me, were busy running around like chickens with your fucking heads cut off to finish up last minute shopping, thinking the world had gone insane because even the grocery stores looked like the mall on Black Friday and hating people in general because they drive like assholes and they’re just stupid in general. Did I hit the nail on the head? Oh come now, we’re old friends, you and I… You know I won’t judge you if you say you hated people at Christmas. I hate them, too! But I hate them all year, so…

But despite all the idiots (brother, could I tell you stories), the bad drivers and the overpriced items, I hope everyone had a really nice holiday and it turned out the way you wanted it to. Hell, tell me about it! I love comments (hint, hint) so if you feel up to it, drop me your favorite holiday moment this year in a comment. I’d love to hear them!

One of my favorite moments is always when my uncle calls Christmas morning. He lives down south and is too old to travel anymore, so we write and telephone when we can. This year I was more excited because I’d bought this pair of red socks… He and I had this inside joke about red socks ever since I was about 4 and wore a pair on one of his visits. After that, I had to wear them or he’d ask where they were. As I grew older, it faded into the background, but in a letter about a year or two ago we’d had a conversation about red socks and he said I should get a pair, they might make me feel better. So when I saw these, the only pair… Well, I bought them. When he called Christmas Day, I said, “Guess what I’m wearing?” He said he’d have no clue, but as soon as I said it was something he told me I should get and wear because it would make me feel better, without missing a beat he said, “Red socks!” We had a good laugh then had a weird and wonderful conversation about my new socks, what kind they were, all that… It was so fun and reminiscent ! I loved every minute!

I know, you’re thinking, “What the fuck; are you mental?! You had a lengthy conversation about socks?!” I suppose it does sound goofy… But this is a fun inside joke we’ve had going for, what, 47 years now…? That’s a long time to keep it going, which is why the conversation was so special, you see…

But what made it a particularly good Christmas was the fact that, several days before, we had snow! I was so excited! Every year I wish for a white Christmas and every year I get disappointed… In fact, they said this was the first time in 15 or 16 years since we had one. I knew it was going to be older snow, but I didn’t care. It was going to be white outside when I woke up! Then Christmas Eve morning, it snowed again! Christmas snow! I stood outside with the dogs, in nothing but my pajamas, and just let the snow fall on me… there’s nothing more magical than Christmas snow! That was my real present, the fact that I got my white Christmas. I felt good for days all because we had snow this year!

It’s amazing what the simple things in life can do for your outlook on things… Usually I get very depressed around Christmas for whatever reason (most of the time I’m not sure why). It was really nice to feel good for once and not have to put on a “happy face”. This year, the happy face was genuinely mine! Although I must admit, it was kind of weird… When you spend so many holidays feeling depressed, it doesn’t feel quite right to be happy about them… It is what it is I suppose…

New Year’s Eve, however, was a different story…

I had mixed feelings about the day… I was awoken at an ungodly hour by the worst leg cramp in the history of humans (it hurt like a fuck, I yelled), I found out my poor betta had passed away (RIP Indy) and the Raycon earbuds I’d waited so long for were faulty… In the end, I did get them to both work, but what a pain in the ass. They sound amazing, though! I’m wearing them now (like I am in this picture) and they’re so comfy and sound spectacular! I was jamming out for quite a while, going more deaf…

Of course no holiday is complete without listening to Morticia bitch and cry (she called me on Christmas for the same reason). And I also ended up getting into a really bad fight with my brother… I feel bad for how I ended the fight, which was childishly going for the throat and saying something I knew would hurt him. But after all I’d done to help him, to get him back on his feet… To have him treat me the way he did just because he was being selfish and I called him on it… That’s not okay.

TJ (my brother) has some major psychological issues and, unfortunately, I believe is on the wrong meds because they don’t seem to help him. He also has this penchant of destroying the relationships he has with people, something I attribute to the way his father (my mother’s boyfriend) treated him when we were growing up. Be that as it may… For the past two years, he’s been struggling with grief over a long term girlfriend that passed away. One day, the SD card in his phone shit out and he lost all the pictures he had of her. He thought perhaps it was a sign that he should finally move on. I agreed… But in his desire to move on, he decided to delete her memorialized Facebook page. Her family was understandably upset by this and, as I read in the screenshots, they asked nicely for him to not do so and he was a bit of a dick, telling them he needed to do this in order to move on. I told him her death wasn’t just about him, how he felt or what he needed to move on, that it was about her family and friends as well and what they needed. He copped a major attitude with me (he knows better) and it got really ugly from there… I tried being nice, but he was being such an ass that I finally blasted his ass out of the water and went right for the throat. The text I sent was intentionally cruel and hurtful. Then I blocked his number.

Yes, pissing Jackie off can leave you in a very cold place… Especially if I’ve gone out of my way to help you, be nice to you and this is how you repay me, by being a complete and utter ass fuck. I’m too fucking old for this shit and I’ve gone through this one too many times before. There is no forgiveness… Besides, I forgave him for all the things he’d done when we were younger. You’re lucky to get a second chance. If you blow that, you’re dead to me. Call me horrible, but that’s what life has taught me, that forgiveness isn’t for my sake and doesn’t make me feel better at all. And that most people don’t deserve it…

Speaking of cold… This was that beautiful snow that fell several days before Christmas! Isn’t it beautiful? The dogs love snow! It doesn’t matter what time of the day or night it is, how much or little is out there. If they can play in it, they most certainly do! They were zooming all over the yard and Baxter here was catching and eating snowballs! He’s a little stupid sometimes, but that’s okay, I love him anyway! It was pretty cold when we had this snowfall, which is why we were able to keep it as long as we did, thank goodness!

Well, dear readers, I’m off to start on my new project…

This comes from a new company called Fun Whole. The sets are very much like LEGO, same amazing quality, but the price is a lot cheaper and the light kits come with it and not separate. If this were LEGO, it would run about $300 (no light kit). This was on sale for $100 with a light kit! And it looks like a retro record store! I always wanted to own a retro looking record store… This is close enough! I’m so excited to build it and see how it looks! Hey, if nothing else, I can pretend it’s my record store, right…?

Until next time, dear readers… Stay warm, stay happy and go buy some really nice wannabe LEGO. It’s fun to be a kid again!